


Race to date Ken Kaneki

by endangeredwalrus



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkward Boners, Btw Kaneki is a human here, Eventual Sex, F/M, I will probably add more characters, Idk bruh I just thought of this when I woke up, M/M, Masturbation, Other, PLENTY of inappropriate chapters, Periods, Personified libido levels, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Will update I don't know how often, actually every chapter is inappropriate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3915715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endangeredwalrus/pseuds/endangeredwalrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukiyama thought that it would be interesting to start a contest. It was originally supposed to be just Tsukiyama and Rize, but it seems like they won't be the only ones fighting for Ken Kaneki.</p><p>(This story was made so that we can have some light moments with Tokyo Ghoul and so that we can just have fun. Tokyo Ghoul is kinda dark and I'd like to lighten the mood a bit :D Enjoy~)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A small café. It was nice and quiet, their food was good, and best of all, their coffee – ahh – it was the best one in town. One more thing, the café had a rumor of being run by ghouls. Well, who cares if it was run by ghouls? That’s not the main point of this story.

One day in Anteiku, two purple heads were sitting in the café, a seat where it was easy to see other people but not easily seen by others. One was female, the other was male. One wore glasses, the other didn’t. One was horny, the other was not.

Tsukiyama spotted a certain male with an eyepatch and black hair. He looked well-mannered and polite. He thanked the waitress for everything that she served him. The dark blue haired waitress was short but cute. Her name…. well, I heard something about ‘Touka’ being her name. Anyway, Tsukiyama licked his lips as he saw the other male sipping at his tea. He needed something interesting in his life. A little spice to flavor his boring life. Then, and idea popped up in his head.

“Ok, let’s have a contest, Kamishiro-san.” Tsukiyama grinned, eyeing one particular male with black hair and an eyepatch. “The first one to get cutie over there wins.”

Rize rolled her eyes at first, but once she saw the male with the eyepatch, the corners of her lips curled up into a smirk.

“You’re on.”

Both of them stood up at the same time, glaring at each other. But then, Tsukiyama bolted towards Eyepatch boy, nearly crashing into his table. Rize on the other hand, was not fast enough and decided to sit back down and watch the show, hoping that something would go wrong.

Tsukiyama rested his hands on his bent knees, trying to catch his breath. Eyepatch widened his eyes (well, eye. Since he was covering one.).

“Uhm, are you alright sir?” Eyepatch asked, looking both scared and concerned.

Tsukiyama breathed deeply.

_Cutie just talked to me._

He got up and took in one puff of air before gaining his composure and smiling.

“Bonjour joli garçon. I am Shuu Tsukiyama.” He bowed getting up again, he spoke. “May I know your name?”

“Uhm, I’m Ken Kaneki.” Kaneki extended his hand out to the purple head as he gladly returned the handshake. “Tsukiyama-san, take a seat.”

Tsukiyama smirked, taking his seat across Eyepatch.

“Do you want anything to eat Tsukiyama-san?”

“You.”

“….. what?”

“Oh no, I-I mean…. Uh…” Tsukiyama heard another purple head snicker in the distance, sending an imaginary middle finger to her. “H-How about you? Do you want anything?”

“Oh, I’m just going for coffee and a sandwich.”

“Ah, ok then. I’ll get some black coffee.”

Kaneki nodded, raising his hand and politely calling the waitress by her name. “Touka-chan?” he called.

The waitress turned around, a light blush staining her face at the sound of ‘-chan’ being added to her name. She seemed to like it though. She walked over, looking way happier than she did when she was getting the order of another man. As Kaneki was talking to the waitress, Tsukiyama looked at Rize, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. Then he began to mouth out something.

_He’s my bitch boy._

Rize rolled her eye, flashing a middle finger at the Gourmet. Tsukiyama heard Kaneki give the final order and turned around to face the waitress. In return the waitress glared at him, shaking her head and leaving.

“Fucking Gourmet.” Touka mumbled, making the other pout as Kaneki was too busy noticing Tsukiyama’s pout.

“Tsukiyama-san?” Kaneki called out. Tsukiyama turned around, surprised that Eyepatch was blushing and not maintaining eye contact. “Y-You look cute when you pout like that….”

Tsukiyama whimpered, trying to hide his growing boner. _Fuck you Kaneki-kun you and your complements._

“Tsukiyama-san? Are you okay?” Kaneki asked, once again concerned.

“I-It’s nothing. Don’t worry Kaneki-kun.” He gave a reassuring smile which didn’t look convincing as he was breaking out in a cold sweat. Then, the book Kaneki was holding slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor. Kaneki reached down to get it, but turned his head and quickly looked away as he saw something that he could never unsee.

Kaneki quickly grabbed the book and sat up, covering his blush with his hands. “Tsukiyama-san… your uhm… thing.”

Tsukiyama’s eyes widened, sweating profusely. “What thing?”

“Your…” Kaneki cleared his throat. “Penis.”

Rize on the other side of the room burst into a laugh. Tsukiyama glared at the sound of that familiar voice. He covered his _friend_ with his hands. Panic etched in his eyes, Tsukiyama freaked out.

“Kaneki-kun I’m so sorry!” Tsukiyama said, over and over again. Kaneki, who was blushing harder than the other male, leaned in and whispered into Tsukiyama’s ear.

“Do you… want me to help?”

 _“FUCK. KDVKNKNAPAN”_ Tsukiyama cursed in his head, feeling his dick grow harder. Then, there it was. He accidentally let a moan slip out of his lips.

Both of them froze, a purple head on the other side of the room laughing even harder.

Kaneki slowly pulled back, eye wide.

 “Tsuki-“

“Sir, one regular coffee,” Touka arrived with a tray of food and drinks. “one sandwich and one black coff- Oh my God….” Now Touka was looking at everything in bird’s eye view. And as she looked at the Gourmet to give him his order, she saw what was wrong with him. She quickly placed all the food and drinks on the table before looking at him and shaking her head. Then she left the two to try and solve the problem themselves.

Kaneki stood up and got his coat and placed it across Tsukiyama’s lap.

“Here Tsukiyama-san.” Kaneki flashed a smile. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

Tsukiyama thought that he could just cum at that moment when he heard those words slip out of Kaneki’s mouth. He nodded, holding the coat and standing up as Eyepatch took out his wallet and placed money on the table to pay for the meal. Once Tsukiyama stood up, he realized that Kaneki was way shorter than him. But it was because of that that made Tsukiyama think that he was even more adorable. Both slowly walking out Anteiku – making sure that no one could see his _friend_ – Tsukiyama looked at Rize and grinned, once again mouthing out some words.

_He’s mine, bitch._

Then, the two left Anteiku, a purple head with red glasses gob smacked at what just happened. Rize gained her composure and sighed.

“You will be mine Eyepatch.”

The game had just started.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am supposed to be doing something else but fuck it I like writing. I woke up at 1 am because it was raining hard and decided to write and went to sleep at 3. So tis ok :) Anyways, enjoy.

Kaneki and Tsukiyama walked with caution. One single misstep and the whole world would be able to see his glory shining from his pants. Kaneki decided to stay in front of the Gourmet to hide his raging boner as they walked in public. Kaneki had innocent thoughts, but the other’s wasn’t so innocent.

“Tsukiyama-san?” Kaneki called out. The Gourmet didn’t respond, stuck in a chain of thoughts.

_Oh my God where are we going, what if what Kaneki-kun means by ‘private’ is a strip club where he works as a striper and he’s going to strip for me. YAS. That was he can fix my dick!_

“Tsukiyama-san.” Kaneki called out once again, this time a bit more stern.

“Hah?” Tsukiyama responded a bit nervous sounding. Kaneki continued to walk, voice still audible even if he was facing forward.

“We’re almost there.” Tsukiyama couldn’t see it but Kaneki was smiling. He whimpered in response, thinking that his recent fantasies would come true.

Oh how wrong you were Shuu.

* * *

 

“…..”

“…..”

“…..”

“So…. Are you feeling better, Tsukiyama-san?” Kaneki asked, an awkward smile fitting the awkward sexual tension in the air.

“Physically yes but mentally no.” he frowned, his dreams crushed.

You thought it was a strip club Shuu? Haha nope. It was Kaneki’s apartment.

“Why what’s wrong?” Kaneki tilted his head slightly in question.

“No…. nothing mon amour.” Tsukiyama massaged his temples.

“Mon amour?”

“It means ‘my love’ in French.”

 “Oh…” Kaneki looked down, trying to hide his noticeable blush, but averted his eyes when he realized where he was looking. “You seem better now. It’s slightly soft now.”

_FUCK. KANEKI-KUN WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME._ Tsukiyama mentally cursed as he whimpered, feeling embarrassed yet turned on by the fact that Kaneki was looking down there. He was getting tired. Sleepy. He yawned, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Tsukiyama-san, you’re sleepy?”

“Oui Kaneki-kun. Forgive me.”

“No it’s fine. I didn’t realize it but it’s already night time.”

Insert awkward silence here.

“Tsukiyama-san.”

 “Mm?”

 “Do you uhm want to sleep here tonight?”

Tsukiyama was silent as he tried to process what the shorter male just said.

“Whyy…?” his voice cracked. Kaneki scratched the back of his neck and looked away, being careful not to look down again at Tsukiyama’s slowly softening dick.

  “Well it’s night time already and it’s dangerous to go out at night considering how many ghoul attacks that have been happening more often now.”

“Oh….”Tsukiyama’s dreams were crushed when he found out Kaneki’s intentions. He’s a really innocent little duckling while Tsukiyama was a hungry wolf with a raging boner. Now, going back to the sleeping issue, Kaneki didn’t know that the other was a ghoul – a Gourmet to be specific. Even for other ghouls it’s dangerous for them to go out at night. News went around among the ghouls that there was this ghoul organization killing other ghouls, the Aogiri Tree. “Sure but where will you sleep?”

“You’ll sleep on my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor. I have an extra sleeping bag.”

Tsukiyama started to feel bad for Kaneki, but he knew it was for the best. Tsukiyama was getting a bit hungry and Kaneki was a human with such a delicious scent and sleeping right beside him would cause him to start feeding on Eyepatch. He sighed, thinking about how many dreams of his were crushed.

“Ok. Merci Kaneki-kun.”

“By the way,” Kaneki began. “Is it ok if we speak all English here? I get scared when you speak French.”

* * *

 

It was silent. Completely silent and full of sexual tension.

Tsukiyama lay comfortably on Kaneki’s bed with only boxers on, soaking up his scent while Kaneki lay in a sleeping bag on the floor in a shirt and shorts, tossing and turning to try and get comfortable. Tsukiyama decided to break the silence.

“Kaneki-kun?” Tsukiyama hung off the side of the bed to look at the male who looked like a caterpillar in that green sleeping bag.

 “Mm?” Kaneki hummed, looking back at the purple head.

 “May I ask, why do you have an eyepatch?”

“Oh that? I got into an accident and I had to get surgery on my eye. I’ll have to keep it on for a whole month.”

“I see.” Tsukiyama lay back in bed, looking at the ceiling. His eyebrows furrowed, feeling something warm and fuzzy in his heart, kinda like a maternal instinct. For some reason he wanted to protect the other male. Sure he liked him and he wanted to eat him, but there was something in Kaneki that Tsukiyama wanted to protect.

“Goodnight Tsukiyama-san.” Kaneki smiled even though the purple head wouldn’t be able to see. Tsukiyama jolted, but felt that he had to smile for some reason, so he did.

“Goonight Kaneki-kun.”

* * *

 

12 am and Tsukiyama was still awake with a random boner growing. He blamed it on the fact that he was sleeping in his crush’s bed and he got a bit _excited,_ but another reason was that he still felt bad that Kaneki was sleeping on the floor. Tsukiyama crawled across the bed and hung over the side to watch Eyepatch sleeping. He watched as his body slightly rose and fell with each breath he took and that he was lightly snoring. He smiled at himself. Kaneki was simply adorable. His personality, his looks, how he acts around other people, everything was adorable. Tsukiyama then started to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling again in his heart, a feeling of wanting to care for the other. So Tsukiyama sighed, slowly getting off the bed and kneeling beside Kaneki.

                He slowly opened the zipper of the sleeping bag, careful not to wake the other up. Once the zipper was all the way down, he slowly pried open the bag and positioned himself beside Kaneki. He lowered himself down and solely lifted the sleeping male in his arms, bridal style. At first Kaneki flinched, but soon relaxed once he was lifted in the air. Tsukiyama stood up, looking down at Kaneki. Kaneki’s eyebrows furrowed which got Tsukiyama scared, but his face soon relaxed as he dug his face into Tsukiyama’s chest with a relaxed smile on his face.

“ _Oh my God Kaneki-kun.”_ Tsukiyama clamped his mouth to try and suppress a squeal. Kaneki looked like a baby, sleeping and curled up against Tsukiyama. Then Tsukiyama slowly turned around and gently placed Kaneki on the vacant spot on his bed. The bed was quite big for one person, but just big enough for two people. Kaneki curled up into the sheets, warming himself under his blanket. Tsukiyama smiled but then frowned when he realized that his dick was growing harder by the second.

“What to do….” He whispered to himself, looking helplessly at his _friend._ He glanced once at Kaneki, then at his dick and sighed. He made his way to the Kaneki’s bathroom and locked the door, leaning against the wall. Panting, he pulled down his boxers and let his rock hard dick spring forward. Looking around, he spotted an extra shirt of Kaneki hanging on a wire hanger. He grabbed it and closed his eyes. Sniffing it, he began to touch himself.

“Kaneki-kun…” he whimpered, running his fingers up and down his cock. Precum dripped from the tip and lubricated his dick, making the movements more smooth and fluid. He then began to imagine that it was Kaneki’s mouth around his cock.

 “Kaneki-kun… suck h-harder…”

He flicked his thumb over his tip which made him jolt. His legs began to feel weak, leaning against the cold bathroom wall. He began to stroke harder and harder, nearing his limit per stroke.

“K-Kaneki-kun!” Tsukiyama screamed, cum spurting out of his tip and tainting the bathroom floor.

“Hah….. Hah….” He panted, getting tissue and wiping his dick clean. He got an extra tissue and began to wipe the floor clean. Returning the shirt where he found it, he pulled his boxers up and left the bathroom. He walked slowly, floor creaking with every step he took and walked to his side of the bed. He smiled to himself as he saw Kaneki’s sleeping face. He looked even more adorable and innocent.

                Tsukiyama sat down, admiring the sleeping male. Then after a few minutes of staring and weird smiling, he leaned forward and lightly kissed Kaneki’s forehead. The other male flinched at the contact, but soon smiled afterwards. Tsukiyama chuckled lightly, laying down facing Kaneki.

 “Goodnight Kaneki-kun.”

Tsukiyama stroked the other’s hair lightly before falling asleep, Kaneki curling up into Tsukiyama’s chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anymore. Btw, there is an actual red Gucci suit, hint hint

Ah…. Mornings.

Sunlight creeping through the window, birds chirping, and two males on opposite corners of the room and incoherent screaming.

“TSUKIYAMA-SAN EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I WOKE UP CUDDLING YOU.” Kaneki pointed at the bed frantically as Tsukiyama fiercely defended himself.

“I FELT BAD THAT YOU HAD TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR SO I PICKED YOU UP AND PUT YOU ON THE BED.”

“BUT WHY WAS I CUDDLING YOU.”

 “YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STARTED IT.”

 “Wait what.” Kaneki body grew tense.  “What do you mean ‘I was the one who started it’?”

Tsukiyama sighed, pinching his nose bridge. “It’s exactly what it means. You cuddled me first.”

Kaneki coughed, a blush spread out across his face. “Oh…. Sorry for shouting at you first thing in the morning…”

“It’s fine…”

“So how’s your boner doing?”

“WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT.” Tsukiyama crossed his legs and put his hands around his crotch, shielding it from Kaneki’s eyes.

“WHAT’S SO WRONG ABOUT ASKING HOW’S YOUR DICK.” Kaneki paused, then realizing what he just said. “Oh…. That’s actually really wrong.”

“Fuck it Kaneki-kun, I’m going to the bathroom.” Tsukiyama gave up and made his way to the bathroom. Opening the door, he went in but then slipped on a mysterious substance and fell bum first on the floor. “Ooff!”

“Tsukiyama-san!” Kaneki called out, running to the purple head. Tsukiyama groaned as a stinging sensation spread across his ass. Looking down at what he slipped on, he uttered curses. “Fuck this floo-“ His eyes widened as he saw what he slipped on.

“Tsukiyama-san! Are you alright?” Kaneki entered the bathroom. Not looking at his step, he soon slipped and fell beside Tsukiyama. “Fuck!” he cursed when his butt hit the floor. He frowned, looking at his foot to see what he slipped on, but was distracted when he touched something sticky. Pure confusion was etched into Kaneki’s face while Tsukiyama’s was etched with pure fear.

“What is this?” Kaneki inspected his hand with a white sticky substance. “This sort of looks somehow familiar. Tsukiyama-san, do you know what this is?” Kaneki showed his hand to Tsukiyama, whose eyes were wide open.

 “Uhm…. I can explain?”

“What do you mean ‘I can expl-‘ no.” Kaneki slowly backed away from Tsukiyama, eyes filled with fear. “Please don’t tell me……”

“Err… I’m sorry?”

“Please don’t tell me this is your cum.”

A sheepish and apologetic smile formed on Tsukiyama’s face.

“Oh my God….” The color drained from Kaneki’s face as the purple head kept that fucking grin on his face.

* * *

 

 

Kaneki rinsed himself countless times, trying to wash off the cum that he just touched. He made sure that Tsukiyama was nowhere near the bathroom. Speaking of Tsukiyama , he freaked out a he looked everywhere to find his clothes.

“Kaneki-kun?” Tsukiyama called out for help.

 “What.”

“Have you seen my clothes?”

Kaneki sighed, turning his head different directions to look of for the clothes – like the good boy he was. His eyes widened and he stiffened when he saw that one red suit and pants hanging by the wire hanger Kaneki set up the night before for his visitor.

“No…?” he cringed. Kaneki hated to lie, but he was done with the purple head – more like felt uncomfortable with him. Tsukiyama’s eyebrows furrowed, wrinkles forming where a potential purple mono brow was growing. Tsukiyama began to walk towards the bathroom, forgetting what Eyepatch was doing in the bathroom.

“Kaneki-kun! Those were very expensive Gucci- HOLY FUCK.” Tsukiyama opened the door, revealing a butt naked Ken Kaneki holding that one Gucci suit and pants with a scared look in his eyes.

Both of them stared in silence, trying to process what they were seeing – Tsukiyama’s eyes glued to his suit while Kaneki’s glued to purple eyes, scared as fuck. A tear rolled down Tsukiyama’s cheek.

“Kaneki-kun…….. why would you lie to me?” he sounded truly offended, hand on his heart and arm against the doorframe supporting him.

*insert emotional K-drama here*

Kaneki got into the moment with the K-drama music, Tsukiyama acting like he was a damsel in distress.

“Tsukiyama-san.” Kaneki strutted to the taller male, grabbing him and making him fall in his arms like what those Flamenco dancers do when the girl almost falls and like, the guy catches her – idk man I’m not a dancer. Tsukiyama gasped, looking up at Eyepatch who obviously had an eyepatch.

“Kaneki-kun..”

“Forgive me Tsukiyama-san, I was….. *dramatic pause* _a fool_.”

“*dramatic gasp by le Trashyama* Kaneki-kun….”

Kaneki smirked, leaning closer…. And closer….. and closer..

“Wait what the fuck am I doing.” Kaneki straightened up and dropped le Trash on the floor. He looked down at Trashyama who pouted back.

*K-drama music stops*

“But-But Kaneki-kun! We were having a moment!” Tsukiyama stood up and looked down at the confused Kaneki.

“Yeah, that moment ended.” Kaneki patted Tsukiyama softly on the shoulder, forgetting that his penis was flailing around. “Here’s your suit Tsukiyama-sa- no.” Kaneki was about to give the Gucci back to the purple head until he looked down at his boxers.

“Please don’t tell me you have a boner again.”

“It was your fault!” Tsukiyama grabbed the suit and covered his erection hastily. Kaneki sighed, pushing him out of the bathroom. “

 “Go jerk off somewhere else but please not my room.” He shut the door leaving Boner Man to solve his own problem. Finishing up his shower, he left the room but started hearing gasping and moaning nearby. He peeked through the kitchen and caught a purple head with his hand in his pants.

 “TSUKIYAMA-SAN I TOLD YOU TO JERK OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE.”

“YOU SAID ROOM, NOT KITCHEN.”

* * *

 

“This is where I leave you, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama bowed, both at the entrance of Anteiku.

“Thanks I guess, Tsukiyama-san for being with me.” Kaneki blushed, images of what happened in the apartment and dick photos appeared in his head making him shudder.

“Merci, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama smirked, quickly straightening up and landing a kiss on Kaneki’s thin lips. “See you around, Kaneki-kun!” Tsukiyama bolted into a run, leaving the younger frozen and red as a tomato.

“Did he just…..” Kaneki touched his lips lightly. Then, a gentle smile appeared on his face.

_Wait, why am I smiling?_


	4. Chapter 4

Kaneki walked into Anteiku, relieved that the purple head had left him. He clutched his heart, a feeling of sadness overflowing him.

 _No, I’m supposed to be happy that Tsukiyama-san is not with me anymore._ Kaneki thought, not looking where he was walking. Suddenly, he bumped into someone who had a cushion on their chest. Oh wait, they’re breasts.

“Oh I’m so sor- AH PURPLE.” Kaneki jumped back in fright when he looked up and saw that another person had purple hair. He put a hand on his chest, catching his breath. The person – a woman – he bumped into tilted her head to the side.

“Are you alright sir?” she asked, a sweet smile that sent shivers down Kaneki’s spine.

“Oh, no I’m fin-“

_Boobs._

“I’M ALRIGHT THANK YOU.” Kaneki averted his eyes and coughed. The other giggled, not doing anything about her exposed cleavage. In fact, she exposed it even more, a mischievous grin on her face.

“Man, it’s hot in here is it?” she loosened the string that held together the front of her dress. Kaneki – being the good man he is – freaked out and tried to stop the mysterious woman from undressing in the middle of the café.

Hold on were they alone?

Oh shit they’re alone.

“E-Excuse me but you can’t do that here…” Kaneki’s hand leaped forward and grabbed the other’s hand before she could do more damage to Kaneki’s innocent brain.

“Oh~” the woman purred. “I see we have an innocent one here~”

“What.”

“My name is Rize Kamishiro. And you are?” Rize trailed her finger along Kaneki’s jawline.

I swear Kaneki should be bleeding through his nose by now.

“K-Ken Kaneki…” he said, taking a step back away from the finger trailing him.

“Kaneki huh, what a beautiful name…. care to have some tea with me?” she smiled that oh so sweet smile once again, red glasses slightly tipped over to one side.

“S-Sure?”

Rize smiled, grabbing Kaneki’s hand and dragging him to the seat by the window. While dragging him, Kaneki had a perfect view of her behind. If you think about it, it should be a magnificent sight but right now…. Let’s just say that something else was bleeding, other than Kaneki’s nose.

“Rize-san….” Kaneki stopped, making Rize halt and turn back in surprise.

“What’s wrong Kaneki-kun? Oh my, are you having a nosebleed?” Rize leaned forward, but it only caused Kaneki to move back.

“Rize-san, I’m not the only one who’s bleeding.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your white dress….”

“What about it?”

“It’s…. the Japanese Flag right now.”

….

…

…

Isn’t there a red circle in the middle of the Japa- ohhhh…..

Rize’s eyes widened as she quickly cupped her backside (coughs) and tried to look for a way to back herself up a wall. She was literally as red as a tomato…… or as red as something else (wink wink).

“I am so sorry Kaneki-kun!” Rize said, backing up against a corner.

Kaneki panicked. “UHHHHHH DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP.” (if any of you remember the first chapter I give you chocolate.)

“Please!” Rize panicked too.

So Kaneki immediately ran out, going to the nearest drugstore.  Rize sighed, looking around to see if anyone was around.

 “This is soooo embarrassing…” she said, sighing in defeat.

“Trés bien Kamishiro.” A particular male entered Anteiku. Rize glared at the man.

“Shuu…”

“I still can’t believe it. ‘Japanese Flag’. Ah, I love it!” Tsukiyama mocked, acting like Rize backed up in a corner with her hands covering her bum.

“Shuu I swear one more word and I’m smearing all this blood on your fucking red Gucci suit.”

Tsukiyama’s eyes widened as he embraced himself. “YOU CAN HURT ME ANYWAY YOU WANT, BUT IF YOU TOUCH MY GUCCI IMMA STAB U.”

* * *

 

So there Kaneki was. Looking through aisles and aisles of pads and tampons. Problem was, he had no idea what the fuck they were.

“What is a tampon?” Kaneki asked himself, picking up a pack of tampons and reading the instructions aloud. “Wash your hands…. Unwrap the tampon from the plastic case around it….. Insert into vagi- oh my.”

He quickly put the tampon pack onto the shelf and quickly walked away. Suddenly, a thought appeared in his head.

  _Wait, what if guys had periods? Would they use a tampon? So they insert it inside their penis hole and – OH GOD NO._ Kaneki cringed at the thought and stood still, finding the solution to his problem. _Why not use condoms? I mean they’re pretty durable…. Yeah maybe I should get that for Kamishiro-san._

Then a sales clerk passes by him.

“Oh wait!” Kaneki turned around, catching the attention of the worker.

 “Yes sir, what can I do for you?”

“Do girls use condoms for periods?”

“…….”

 “…..”

Kaneki what the fuck did you just ask.

“Uhm…” the sales clerk turned red, her mouth trembling as if she was suppressing a laugh. “Girls use tampons and napkins.”

“Oh, how to napkins work?”

“Oh my God…”

After an awkward short lesson of how you use a napkin and not insert it into your vajay, Kaneki nodded, while the sales clerk bowed quickly and left Kaneki to figure out which napkin to buy, laughing as she went away.

Kaneki looked at the napkins.

“Ok….. For light days….. Nope…. Regular flow…. No…. Heavy flow… yep.” He picked up two packs of night napkins and went for the cashier, happy that he was able to figure out which napkin to get. His face fell when he saw who was at the cashier.

“Nishio-senpai?”

“Oh Kanek- what the fuck are you buying.”

_Oh shit._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me if this chapter is quite short :(  
> But I like me some booty tho (hint hint)

“Kaneki why the fuck are you buying napkins.” Nishiki was confused, eyeing Eyepatch with a questioning gaze.

“Nishio-senpai! I – there was an emergency and I had to buy her napkins!” Kaneki explained frantically.  Nishio sighed.

“You know you’re hopeless when it comes to women.” a mischievous smile across his face as Kaneki went closer to buy his napkins. He reached out at caressed Kaneki’s cheek with his thumb. Leaning in, he whispered seductively. “Why don’t you try it out with men?”

“WHOA NISHIO-SENPAI HOLD UP.” Kaneki backed up, leaving the napkins on the cashier table. “I JUST CAME HERE TO BUY NAPKINS NOT A BOYFRIEND.”

“Oh, I’m free of charge, Kaneki~” he purred, leaning forward to caress the other. “Kiss me, Kaneki~” Supposedly it was supposed to be a majestic sight, but Nishio leaned too much forward and ended up kissing the floor instead.

“Ni-shio…. Senpai?” Kaneki was confused and flustered. “Did you just… try to kiss me?”

“Uh….. yes?” he looked up, a sheepish grin spread across his face.

“Oh my God, Nishio-senpai please just punch my items and give them to me.” Kaneki pinched his nose bridge.

“Okay, but can I at least get some help here?”

Kaneki hesitated but reluctantly extended out his hand to the blond. The blond grabbed it, resisting the urge to pull him down, and pin him to the ground….and watch as he squirms…. And grab his crotch…. And unzip his pants…. And- wait what.

Nishio did his job, running the napkins under the scanner. He would occasionally look at Kaneki and when they would establish eye contact, Nishio would wink at him. Kaneki simply acted like nothing happened, but his very noticeable blush gave it away. Putting the napkins in a paper bag, Nishio handed over the napkins to Kaneki.

“If you need anything,” Nishio grabbed Kaneki’s chin, tilting it upwards to face him. “Give me a call, okay?”

Kaneki backed up, scared, and bowed quickly before running away from Mr. Horny with glasses. Going back to Anteiku, Kaneki was expecting to see only Rize inside, but nope. Kaneki opened the door to Anteiku, the bell attached to the door ringing.

“Rize-sa- What.”

Rize was not backed up against the wall.

She was chasing around Boner Man (aka Trashyama) with menstruation blood on her hands. Boner Man had blood smears on his face.

“Tsuki..yama-san?” Kaneki called out softly, really confused about what was happening. The two purple heads stopped running as they both turned around to face Eyepatch.

“Oh! Kaneki-kun!” Tsukiyama pulled at the hem of his suit to straighten it up. Kaneki could now clearly see that the blood smears on his cheeks formed the shape of hands. Tsukiyama acted like nothing happened but Rize on the other hand, freaked out and tried to hide her hands behind her dress.

“Uhm… here are your napkins..” Kaneki walked towards Period Woman, not making eye contact with her. Her bloody hands reached out and grabbed the bag.

“Thank you Kaneki-kun.” She smiled, but it was soon replaced by the look of embarrassment.

Silence between the three.

Kaneki cleared his throat although his voice cracked when he tried to speak.

“Uh, I think I’ll get going now..?” Kaneki slowly took a step back and felt behind him for the door knob.

“Wait Kaneki-kun!” Rize called out.  “We haven’t even had are tea yet!”

“Ah…. Let’s just skip that for today. Maybe some other time?” Kaneki flashed an apologetic smile to the female, not even letting her answer by slipping through the door away from the distinct smell of period blood (I’m a girl I know how it smells. OuO ).

Two purple heads were now alone and reeking of iron (That’s what period blood smells to me idk). Tsukiyama and Rize both turned around to face each other and glared.

“He will be mine.” They both said at the same time.

* * *

 

“Finally, I’m free!” Kaneki leaped out of Anteiku, prancing his way to his house as he realized that there was no one following him around or to put it bluntly, get his booty.

Or so he thought.

Little did he know that there was a man hiding in the bushes, eyes on his booty. Literally.

“Dat booty tho.” A tall white haired male with glasses said to himself.

“Arima-san why are you hiding in the bushes? We're on duty today.” A man with a mix of white and black hair asked, sneaking beside the other to see what he was looking at.

“I am stalking my prey, Haise.” Arima narrowed his eyes.

“A ghoul?” Sasaki asked, sounding excited.

 “Possibly, but no.”

“Then what are you stalking?” Sasaki pressed his cheek against Arima’s to try and see through his line of sight.

“I am stalking the most valuable ass I can possibly tap.”

“Ass?”

“Eyepatch Booty…” Arima could feel himself get hard, but his big ass coat could cover it in an instant.

“Eyepatch Booty… what.” Sasaki then saw what Arima was looking at.

 “Arima-san he looks like me.” He frowned at first. “But I don’t mind me some self-cest.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Arima.

“Haise that is disturbing but hot at the same time. I’m in.”

“Race to get Eyepatch Booty?”

“You’re on.”

(I praise you if you like some Kanekicest because that shit is hot.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating as much as I used to. A lot of things came up and I wasn't in the condition to write. For both my stories that are ongoing, I will be updating once a week since class time is almost here. *cries* Anyways, enjoy :)

The two Doves glared at each other, hands behind their back.

“One.” Arima started.

“Two.” Sasaki continued

“Three!” the two said in unison, revealing their hands in front of each other. Sasaki’s hands were formed into scissors and Arima’s was a rock (Similar to how his dick felt at the moment)

“Yes!” Arima fist pumped, jumping up but quickly going back down as he saw that Eyepatch Booty turned around at the sound of the a cheer. Sasaki pouted, crossing his arms in defeat.

“Dammit!” he said, sulking. Arima had a grin on his face. He bent down and patted his head softly, almost like he was mocking the other.

“Aww, it’s okay Baby Sasaki~” Arima teased. “This just shows how much of a seme I am and how uke you are.”

“I am not an uke!” Sasaki denied.

“Says the one who’s been fucked by this cock before.” Arima pointed down at his little (or not so little) tent in his coat.

“Hey,” Sasaki became defensive. “Let’s be clear that we were both drunk and we may have accidentally taken an aphrodisiac okay?” Arima laughed and stood up, handing over Sasaki his briefcase.

“Hold this please.”

Forever Uke raised a brow. “I honestly think you’re going to screw up, Arima-san.”

“Oh please,” Arima waved his hand dismissively as he jumped over the bushes and turned to face Forever Uke. “I’m a professional Haise.”

Arima winked, sending chills down the other’s spine.

 Arima creeped up behind Eyepatch Booty, and softly held his shoulders. The other froze as Arima put his face by the other’s ear and started to whisper.

“Hey how you doin lil mama? lemme whisper in your ear. Tell you sumthing that you might like to – “

“FUCK.” Eyepatch booty quickly turned around and punched the other in the face, Arima’s glasses falling on the ground. Kaneki made a run for it as Sasaki clutched his stomach, laughing while he held the two suitcases and somehow managed to walk towards Arima.

“HAH. ‘I’M A PROFESSIONAL’ MY ASS.” Sasaki mocked, falling to the ground beside Arima and laughing even harder. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING.”

“It worked on the ladies!” Arima defended.

“ARIMA-SAN DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE HAS A VAGINA.”

“……...”

Sasaki continued to laugh as Arima felt around the ground for his glasses. Finally finding them, Arima stood up and brushed of the dirt from his bum.

“Well it looks like your turn will have to wait Haise.” Arima smirked.

Sasaki stopped laughing and looked around for Eyepatch Booty, only to see that they were the only ones in the area.

“FUCK.”

Sasaki made a run for the direction he saw the Eyepatch Booty run towards, his briefcase sometimes banging against the side of his leg. Arima sighed and picked up his briefcase that Sasaki forgot about.

“Haise, two ukes can’t date. Who’d be the seme?”

He was confident that he would be the one to get Eyepatch Booty.

“There can only one seme, and that’s me.”

* * *

 

“Hah… Hah.. Hah…” Kaneki huffed as he ran as far as he could, occasionally tripping over himself and not caring where exactly he was running. He wanted to hide. Wait a minute….. hide…… Hide!

“Hide!” Kaneki called out his best friend’s name even though he was alone.  It somehow gave him hope. “Hide!”

Kaneki thought about what had happened to him earlir. The thought of that tall guy with glasses who whispered earlier to him creeped him out. Although he had to admit, that guy was pretty hot- WAIT STAHP GAY THOUGHTS.

Kaneki stopped running as he grabbed his hair and fell to his knees.

“STAHP. GAY THOUGHTS STAHP.” Kaneki pleaded. “Ok, sure that guy was pretty hot BUT, that waitress girl was also really cute…. But the one with the period was weird.”

He cringed as he remembered the sight he saw on the back of Rize’s white dress.

Then suddenly, a hand lightly held his right shoulder. He jumped and was about to punch the person behind him but stopped when he realized something and saw the person who touched him.

“….. Why do you look like me?” Kaneki asked as he saw a man who was a centimeter taller and had a mix of white and black hair.

“I was about to ask the same thing.” The man smiled, radiating a calm aura. He extended his hand for a handshake. “I’m Haise Sasaki.”

“Ken Kaneki.” Kaneki smiled nervously and returned the handshake.

“Kaneki-san,” Sasaki said. “About that man who suddenly creeped up behind you earlier..”

“… How did you know that…” Kaneki slowly took a step back, ready to bolt into another run.

“Well, he’s my Senior where I work.”

Kaneki blinked, trying to understand what his potential twin just said.

“What.”

“Uh…. He’s my senpai.”

“…… isn’t the younger one supposed to be the horny one?”

“Horn- Wtf anyway,” Sasaki shook off the thoughts of him being the horny one and bowed. “On his behalf, I apologize.”

“It’s fine.” Kaneki said softly. “But may I ask, did I do something wrong that made him want to do, you know, what he did?”

“Ah…” Sasaki looked nervous, his cheeks turning a light pink. “He kinda likes you but he doesn’t know how to flirt.”

“Oh…” Kaneki blushed, looking down at the ground.

_Holy shit Hot Glasses Man likes me. It’s cute though. He doesn’t know how to flirt ^^. But Haise-san isn’t too bad himself. Wait that’s like dating myself. Self-cest they call it. But why is that somehow really hot?_

“Kaneki-san?” Haise called out.

“Y-Yes?” His voice cracked. Sasaki raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

“Why don’t we get coffee somewhere?” he suggested.

“S-Sure?”

“Great.” Sasaki quickly grabbed Kaneki’s hand and dragged him. “Let’s go Kaneki-san!”

“H-Hey wait a – WHOA.” Sasaki suddenly burst into a run, making Kaneki almost trip over himself.

As the two ran,there in the distance distance was Hot Glasses hugging his suitcase, crying in defeat.

“WHY CAN’T I FLIRT THE SAME WAY WITH GUYS.” Arima clenched his fists and looked up in the sky.

*cue ‘Glassy Sky’ while the camera slowly backs up showing Arima on his knees*

_How many days have passed like this?_

“Is it me or can you hear music?” Kaneki asked.

“Yeah, it sounds oddly familiar.” Sasaki said, still holding Kaneki’s wrist.

“By the way, where are we going Haise-san?” Kaneki asked, completely forgetting that there was only one good coffee shop in that portion of the 11th Ward.

“There’s this café that I heard has really good coffee. It’s called Anteiku.”

 

 

_Oh shit._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I had no internet and my inspiration comes from the internet *cries*. Anyway, like I said in the previous chapter, I'll be updating my ongoing stories once a week (Probably every Saturday CST) since class is about to start for me.

Kaneki and Sasaki reached Anteiku, both panting and sweating. Sasaki wasted no time in opening the door and quickly pulled Kaneki in.

“Let’s go Kaneki-kun!” Sasaki exclaimed. It was clear that he was the type of person who’s excited over every little thing. Kaneki walked in and looked around the room, keeping an eye out for two purple heads.

_Good, they’re not he- You’re kidding me._

Kaneki turned pale and quickly averted his gaze to Sasaki. Do you know why?

Kaneki established eye contact with Tsukiyama and Rize.

The two purple heads were seated where they were on the first day they saw Kaneki. Tsukiyama didn’t have blood on his face anymore but Rize looked like she didn’t change her attire. Kaneki did his very best to act natural and to not look at the two but he wasn’t very good at keeping his calm. He walked very stiffly and was breaking out in a cold sweat. Sasaki, who was holding his hand, noticed that it had turned cold and turned around.

“Kaneki-kun?” Sasaki asked. He smiled as he saw Kaneki’s expression. “Aw, you don’t have to be so nervous Kaneki-kun.” Sasaki gave a little squeeze to Kaneki’s hand and flashed a reassuring smile. Kaneki felt his cheeks grow warm.

_Damn I look cute when I blush._

 Sasaki guided Kaneki to an empty table (well, the café itself was kinda empty.) and pushed on his shoulders to make him sit down. He took the seat across Eyepatch and observed the other quietly. He noticed that Kaneki was acting a bit strange.

“What’s wrong Kaneki-kun?” he asked.

“Ah…..” Kaneki leaned in to whisper, Sasaki knowing what Kaneki wanted and leaned forward. “There are some people here that I really don’t want to see again.”

“Oh… why?” Sasaki paused and a cheeky grin spread in his face along with eyebrow wiggling. “Were you lovers?”

“N-No, but I had a weird history with them.”

Memories of Boner Man and Period Woman flashed in his head, making him cringe.

“I see… are they the two purple heads over there?”

Sasaki turned around and saw the two purple heads whispering to one another while occasionally glancing at the two with eyes that hinted jealousy.

Kaneki nodded as Sasaki chuckled and ruffled Kaneki’s hair.

“It’ll be alright Kaneki-kun.” Sasaki then remembered something and reached down to grab his suitcase. He looked at Kaneki for a moment, an eyebrow raised. “Is it fine if I put my suitcase on the table for a while? It’s a bit heavy.”

“Sure.”

Sasaki placed the suitcase on the table, looking excited.

“Kaneki-kun,” his smile resembling one of a happy child. “There’s this thing that a friend of mine gave me and I want to try it out with you.” Kaneki raised a brow but his expression showed that he was curious. Sasaki unclasped the lock and slowly opened it, making the opening face himself.

“So, I heard that if you put it in your mouth – OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS.” Sasaki quickly shut it, eyes wide with panic.

“Haise-san?”

“I-It seems that I accidentally switched suitcases with a friend.”

(Friend = Arima Kishou)

Sasaki struggled to lock the suitcase, resulting it to open and letting one of its contents roll onto Kaneki’s lap.

“Haise-san, you dropped your- “ Kaneki froze when he saw what was on his lap.

It was a hot pink vibrator.

“H-Haise-san..?” Kaneki hid the vibrator under the desk, not sure what to do with it. He could hear two snickers from his right *coughs Tsukiyama and Rize* and felt his cheeks grow warm.

_So this is what he wanted to try out with me?_

“It’s not what you think!” Sasaki explained “This is not my suitcase! I was supposed to show you a candy!”

Kaneki looked down at the vibrator and saw a label on it. 

_Strawberry Flavor_

The tension that formed around the two was both awkward and sexual.

“Kaneki-kun?”

“Yes?” his voice a pitch higher than it usually was.

“Can I have the vibrator back please?”

Kaneki nodded as his shaky hands extended and handed over the Strawberry flavored vibrator. Sasaki grabbed it and quickly put it back into his suitcase before anyone could see it. (He failed since Tsukiyama and Rize were doing their best to hold in their laughs.) Sasaki and Kaneki both swallowed a lump in their throat.

“Anyway,” Sasaki said, breaking the silence. “The thing I wanted to try with you…”Sasaki reached into his pocket and pulled out two candies wrapped in a white cloth.

“I forgot that it was in my pocket.” A sheepish grin on Sasaki’s face. “My friend said that if you put it in your mouth, you’ll be put into a wonderful fantasy.”

“Really?” Kaneki was excited at first, but then frowned. “Wait this isn’t a drug right?”

“I hope not.” Sasaki said, extending his hand out with the candies resting on his palm.

Kaneki hesitated but then took one of the candies. They both unwrapped it and frowned as they saw the appearance of the candy. The candy was clear and looked like there was powder infused in it. Thinking that it must be some kind of rare candy, they shrugged it off and put it in their mouth.

“I don’t really feel like anything really.” Kaneki frowned.

“Me too. Maybe when you reach the middle?”

“Maybe. I’ll try.” Kaneki was about to bite into it until the other said something.

“Wait.”

“Haise-san?”

“This candy tastes a bit strange.” Sasaki furrowed his eyebrows .

Kaneki rolled the candy around his tongue, trying to get more of the taste on his taste buds.

“Yeah…” Kaneki agreed. “But for some reason, my brain is telling me that this tastes illegal.”

“Same here.”

They both shrugged it off and decided to call the waitress. The waitress was the same one whom Kaneki saw the day before. ‘Touka’ was probably her name. Touka seemed happier as she was talking to Kaneki than Sasaki, making the Dove pout. Touka bowed, winking at Kaneki before walking away and making their coffee. A few minutes later, their orders arrived. Kaneki smiled to himself as he saw that the waitress formed a heart shape in his coffee using the cream. As Sasaki was halfway through drinking his coffee, he suddenly froze and twitched. Kaneki seemed to have caught the other.

“Haise-san?”

“K-Kaneki-kun?” Haise looked scared, but there was something in his eyes that sent chills down Kaneki’s spine. “Do you feel…. Strange?”

“What do you mean by stra-“ Kaneki’s eyes widened as a pulse ran through his body, mostly focusing on his southern regions. He looked down and felt the color drain from his face. “Oh no…”

The two looked at each other, panicking.

“Kaneki-kun,” Haise breathed in. “I think we just took an aphrodisiac.”


	8. Sneak Peek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a sneak peek before class starts tomorrow O_O The full chapter will probably be up by Saturday CST. Anyway, let your imagination flow and enjoy ;)

“H-Haise- AH! – san!” Kaneki breathed out.

  
Sasaki panted, leaning in to whisper into Kaneki’s ear.

 

“Kaneki-kun,” he lightly kissed his ear, making the other jolt in response accompanied with a whimper. “This will hurt a bit, ok?”

  
Kaneki breathed deeply and shut his eyes, bracing himself for what was about to come.

  
“Kaneki-kun….” Haise said before slowly pushing inside .....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EHEHEHE CLIFFHANGEEERRR


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously got a ruler and measured how long their dicks should be. Anyway, I just finished my first week of class. I was able to see my friends again and I was really happy. I wrote the draft of this chapter while the teacher was discussing and I was so focused that I didn't notice that she was standing right behind me O_O. Lessons start next week. Wish me luck.
> 
> And I'm sorry for teasing you guys with the sneak peek.

Kaneki and Sasaki walk out of Anteiku, arms around each others’s waist for support. Sasaki’s suitcase full of his little _goodies_ dragged on the floor by his side. Both were a panting mess, possibly saliva dripping and leaking from their mouths.

They wanted to go somewhere private where they could do their business. An idea pops up in Sasaki’s head.

“Kaneki-kun..”

“Hah?” Kaneki looked over at the Dove, eyes hazy with lust.

They seriously look so high and horny right now.

“I… hah…. Idea.” Sasaki lifts his arm holding the suitcase. “We…. Hah… can go to a friend’s house…. He has…. Key here…”

Kaneki was just too damn desperate to give any fucks and nodded.

“Let’s go…. K-Kaneki-kun..” Sasaki’s grip on Kaneki’s waist tightens as he walks faster, leading him to their destination with two types of excitement on their face.

* * *

 

Sasaki fumbled as he tried to open the suitcase, soon opening it and grabbing the key that shined from within all the sex toys. He put the key in the keyhole and twisted it, a click emitting from the door. He wasted no time in opening the door and dragging Eyepatch with him inside. Kaneki (being too horny to ask where they were) threw himself on the bed that he saw, curling up into a ball.

_Wait a minute, I think I’ve smelled this scent before._

Sasaki shuts the door and drags his feet towards the bed, that one pink vibrator in his hand. He looks genuinely concerned.

“Kaneki-kun,” he extends his hand holding the vibrator, other hand empty. “I – hah – think that you should… use this… you’re the younger one…”

Kaneki’s eyes widen at first but then they desperately look at the vibrator.

“Please..” Kaneki begged, sitting up and not caring that his ochinchin was very proud and _very_ noticeable. Sasaki nodded, crawling on the bed and towards Kaneki. Eyepatch doesn’t know what to do at first and whimpers, but he knew what was going to happen when the other pushed him down and straddled him. Sasaki positioned the vibrator in front of the other’s mouth.

“Suck.”

Kaneki raised a brow, but then realized what the other meant. Looking at it, swallowing hard, he closes his eyes and wraps his mouth around the vibrator.

“Mm… ah…” slurping sounds came from Eyepatch, eyes closed and tongue swirling around the shaft. The taste of strawberry filled Kaneki’s mouth, sucking more and more to get more of it.

Sasaki’s eyes widened. He’s never seen something so erotic in his life. Feeling a little bit evil, the Dove pushes the vibrator deeper into Kaneki’s mouth.

“Mm!” Kaneki whimpers, eyes flying open and gaging ever so slightly. “Hai-the-than! (Haise-san)”

“Suck more, Kaneki-kun.” Sasaki orders, voice dripping with lust and arousal.

Kaneki nods, tears forming as the vibrator was pushed deeper in his mouth.

“Mm! Ah!” Kaneki whimpers, obviously suffering. “Haithe-than! Th-thtop! (stop)”

Sasaki looked down, face falling when he sees Kaneki bursting in tears with large amounts if saliva pouring out of his mouth. He immediately pulls the vibrator out of the other’s mouth, Kaneki coughing and gasping for air.

“K-Kaneki-kun… I’m so sorry..” Sasaki says.

“Haise-san…… more…” Kaneki begs, hips wriggling and giving him the signal that he wants his pants off. Sasaki gets the message and begins to pull down the other’s pants and underwear. Kaneki’s leaking cock springs open from its cage, all swollen and begging for a release. Sasaki licks his lips, placing a light kiss on the tip.

“H-Haise- AH! – san!” Kaneki breathed out.

  
Sasaki panted, leaning in to whisper into Kaneki’s ear.

“Kaneki-kun,” he lightly kissed his ear, making the other jolt in response accompanied with a whimper. “This will hurt a bit, ok?”

  
Kaneki breathed deeply and shut his eyes, bracing himself for what was about to come.

  
“Kaneki-kun….” Haise said before slowly pushing inside the vibrator into Kaneki’s exposed asshole.

“HAISE-SAN!” Kaneki’s hips jolt, the vibrator slipping in smoothly thanks to the saliva.

Sasaki breaths heavily, trying to hold back from being too rough on the other. Once it’s all inside, Sasaki waits for the other to adjust to the size.

“Haise-san…. Please move…. Inside..”

The Dove’s eyes widens as with one forceful thrust, pulls the vibrator with only the tip inside and slams it back inside Kaneki.

“Ah!” Kaneki jolts violently as Sasaki continues his thrusts as hard as he did at the start. “Haise-san!”

Squelching sounds could be heard along with loud moans and heavy breathing. Then Sasaki realizes something.

This is a vibrator, not a dildo.

“Kaneki-kun…” Sasaki whispers out, pushing the vibrator deep inside the other.

“Nngh!” Kaneki moaned as he felt the vibrator go deeper inside him, stretching him even further. “Hah… hah…” Sasaki’s movements came to a stop, allowing Kaneki to catch him breath. “Haise…sa- WHOA FUCK.”

Kaneki cursed when he felt the hot pink vibrator doing its main job.

“Ahh!... Haise-san!” Kaneki’s body trembled, overcome with pleasure.

“That’s right, Kaneki-kun,” Saskai smirked. “Imagine that it’s _my_ cock inside of you.”

Kaneki whimpered. He didn’t want to admit it but ever since he started sucking on the strawberry flavored shaft, he’d already started imagining that it was the Dove’s cock. Usually he wouldn’t be turned on by normal sucking on some strawberry flavored stick, but thinking that it was _Sasaki’s_ cock got him hornier than ever.

Now that I realized it, it’s like Kaneki sucking on his own cock.

Wait how does that even work? Does he have to be super flexible to bend down? And does that mean he’s both seme and uke at the same time?

Holy shit the blowjob paradox.

_This is Haise-san’s cock inside me. It’s his cock, not a vibrator… it’s his-_

Before he knew it, there was a tightening feeling forming in his lower regions, making his hips thrash around wildly.

“Haise-san! Almost-“

“ _Cum_ for me, Kaneki-kun. Feel my dick inside you…”

“Hais- AHH!”

Kaneki’s back arched, cum spurting out of his tip and landing between their chests.

“Ah…. H-Haise-san…” Kaneki noticed that he got some of his cum on the Dove’s coat, thinking about what would happen if the Dove were to go to work and have his boss see his cum-stained coat. “S-Sorry…”

Sasaki laughed, turning off the vibrator.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Kaneki-kun.”

He pulled it out of the other, making Eyepatch groan when the vibrator was pulled out of him.

“But Kaneki-kun,” Sasaki looked at the other, looking a bit sad. “I don’t know what to do with mine.” Kaneki looked down at the male who straddled him and saw that there was a tent forming from his white coat.

Kaneki gulped, thinking about what to do.

_Hm…. We could use the vibrator for Haise-san- ew. That’s like sharing the same toothbrush. Then maybe a hand job? Nah, my hands aren’t very smooth and it’d feel like rubbing sandpaper on your dic- oh my that’s painful._

_Wait a minute._

Kaneki turned red as a certain thought filled his mind.

_What if I gave him a blowjob?_

Kaneki sat up, Sasaki moving to back to give the other space even though he didn’t know what Eyepatch’s intentions were.

“Kaneki-ku- Oof!” Sasaki was forcefully pushed down on the bed, shoulders pinned down on the bed with Kaneki hovering above him. “Ka..neki-kun?” Sasaki broke out in a cold sweat.

“Haise-san.” Kaneki looked both embarrassed but determined as his hands trailed down the Dove’s chest, painfully slow.

 “Oi, Kaneki-kun.” Sasaki said, flustered at the other’s actions. “What are you doing?”

“Please be quiet Haise-san.” Kaneki asked rather sternly for his liking. The Dove shut his mouth, soon opening to release a gasp when he could hear and feel his pants coming off.

“Kaneki-“ Sasaki couldn’t continue as his next words – or sounds – were moans and groans when Kaneki ran his tongue on the underside of Sasaki’s dick. “Ah…. Mm… hah… Kaneki-kun…”

Sasaki – legs spread wide open and above his head – grabbed a fistful of black hair, pushing Eyepatch’s head lower to suck him all up. Kaneki struggled a bit trying to fit the whole thing in his mouth. Sasaki was definitely bigger than him, but what was worse was that Sasaki was more than 6.5 inches. The vibrator was 6.5 inches and Sasaki was a 7.

*coughs Kankekiisafive*

 Moans and whimpers filled Kaneki’s ears, noticing that the elder was much noisier than himself. Kaneki didn’t seem to mind though, he felt a certain sense of achievement listening to the other go through all the pleasure.

Kaneki swirled his tongue around the base, most of it already in his mouth. As Kaneki continued his actions, Sasaki’s noise was getting louder and louder. Kaneki got the message when his dick started to swell in his mouth.

“Kaneki-kun….. ah…. I’m going to cum soon….” Sasaki warned, looking down at Eyepatch.

Kaneki felt like he needed to get revenge for what the elder did to him before, so he grabbed the base of the other’s cock and squeezed it, preventing him from releasing.

“K-Kaneki-kun!” Sasaki shouted, caught off-guard.

Kaneki sucked and licked on his treat harder and more aggressively than before, putting the other male in a painful pleasure.

“Kaneki-kun! Please!” Sasaki begged, eyes tearing up. “H-Hurts…”

Kaneki took his mouth off Sasaki, a smirk spread across his face.

“ _Beg for me, Haise-san.”_

Sasaki whimpered, hips trembling from the hand preventing him from his orgasm.

“Please…..” Sasaki mumbled.

“Hm?”

“P-Please….” Yet another mumble.

“I’m sorry, louder?”

“FUCKING SHIT LET ME CUM KANEKI-KUN. I WANT TO CUM IN YOUR MOUTH AND I WANT YOU TO TASTE ME WHEN I CUM.” Sasaki said, hands covering his blushing face.

Kaneki smiled, trying to suppress a laugh.

Well, Sasaki _did_ beg for it, but Kaneki didn’t think that he would be that loud.

“As you wish, Haise-san.”

Kaneki went back down and sucked on Sasaki’s rock-hard dick as hard as he did previously. After a few licks, he released his hand from the Dove’s base.

“Kaneki-kun!”

Sasaki shivered as his orgasm pulsed through his body, ejaculating in the other’s warm cavern. Kaneki whimpered, feeling the other’s juice run across his tongue and down his throat.

Kaneki slurped up the cum, looking at Sasaki’s chest rise and fall shakily. With one final lick on the tip, Kaneki pulled away and licked the excess cum which gathered in the corners of his mouth.

“Hah…. Hah…” Sasaki struggled to catch his breath. “Kaneki-kun…”

Kaneki saw that there was still a dollop of cum remaining on the tip of Sasaki’s dick. Chuckling, he bent down and took the tip in his mouth.

“! Kaneki-“ Sasaki jolts up, accidentally thrusting into Kaneki’s mouth but eyes turn as the door opens and a tall white haired male with a white coat, glasses and a suitcase watches them with wide eyes.

 “Haise….?” The man asked. “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”

Kaneki’s eyes widen as he remembers who the man standing before him was.

 

_His…… apartment?”_

 

“H-Hi… Arima-san…” a sheepish grin present on Sasaki’s face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Man it's been so long! I'm sorry for not updating sooner but my schedule wouldn't agree with me :0 
> 
> I'm happy to say that I am now improving a lot with my current state and I'll be able to write again! :D Thank you guys for supporting me during my difficult times and I hope that you'll look forward to this story!

“Haise wtf am I seeing.” Arima’s eyes slightly narrowed as if he was not sure if he was seeing things correctly.

“Uh… I can explain?” a nervous smile creeps up on the other Dove as Kaneki realizes that his mouth was very much around a cock and the view was not very…… suitable for virgin eyes. Kaneki quickly releases the dick in his mouth and grabs a blanket by his side, covering his five-incher.

“Haise why are you in my apartment, half-naked with Eyepatch Booty.”

_Eyepatch Booty? Wait, isn’t that guy the one who creeped up behind me earlier?_

“Well ex-ca-use-meh Arima-san,” Sasaki’s inner sass comes out as he snaps his finger per syllable of “excuse me”. “But in the first place, why do you have a fucking _pink, strawberry flavored_ vibrator in your suitcase?”

_Arima-san?_

“Tha-“ Arima’s gaze gets directed to the floor as a light pink blush slowly spreads across his cheeks. “That’s none of your business. *clears le throat* Why do you ask?”

“Arima-san donchu dare fuck with me *sassy Sasaki has now reached Level 2 Sassiness* Answer the ques-“

Arima looks up, dropping his suitcase and putting a hand over his heart. “*le Level 3 Sass Gasp* Are you saying that you’re not going to accept my dick inside your ass after that one night we were drunk?”

The Wild Arima used “Recall Memories.” It’s super effective.

“BITCH WACHU SAY.” Sasaki stands up, storming towards the other Dove and grabbing him by his tie. He pulls down on the tie, bringing Arima’s face right in front of his. “Since when did I say I wouldn’t accept your nice, _big_ cock?” Sasaki smirked as Arima let out a grunt. Arima soon has a grin on his face which sends excitement all over Sasaki’s body.

“I like the way you talk Haise.” Arima’s voice was low and husky. He pressed his lips harshly against Sasaki’s, the other Dove whimpering and kissing back equally as aggressive. In the middle of their whole make out session Kaneki just sat on the bed, not sure what to do nor what to say.

“Uhm…. Haise-san?” Kaneki shyly called out but the Dove continued to attack the other, even proceeding to wrap both his legs around the Sass Level 3 Dove. Kaneki frowned. Calling the Dove now would just result to fruitless effort.

 Trying as much to ignore the two, Kaneki calmly grabbed his boxers and pants and slipped them on. He started to panic a bit when he began to tie his shoelaces, for the two Doves were now dangerously close to Eyepatch Booty.

Hands slightly trembling, he finished his sloppy excuse of a standard shoelace knot and dodged the Doves as they flopped onto the bed, Haise grinding his crotch from underneath Arima’s weight.

“Uh..” Kaneki turned around right before he left the door. His good boy (sings GD and TaeYang’s “Good Boy”) instincts took over for a moment when he bowed down to the two. “I’ll be going now!”

Kaneki straightened up and his eyes widened.

 

Arima had his pants off and was about to push inside Sasaki.

But damn Arima got some booty in his pants.

 

“OK THAT’S ENOUGH HENTAI FOR TODAY K BYE.”

Kaneki quickly ran out, shutting the door behind him. He panted, trying to catch his breath as he leaned his back against the door. It proved to be a mistake when he could hear screams and grunts. Not just any kind of scream, do you want me to demonstrate? It went something like:

“AHH! ARIMA-SAN YOU’RE SO BIG INSIDE ME.”

And,

“HOLY FUCK HAISE YOU’RE SO TIGHT. THAT’S RIGHT, CUM FOR ME WHILE I FILL YOUR ASS UP WITH MY SASS JUICE.”

And etc.

_Fuck this I’m out._

Kaneki didn’t even think twice before he bolted into a run home. He needed his bed. He needed his apartment. He needed to be alone.

He needed fucking _sleep._

_Goddamn is it already late afternoon?_

The sky was a calm orange color, dyeing the clouds the same color as Kaneki ran towards the sunset……. Literally. Like, his apartment is located in the west and while he was running he could barely see shit because he was squinting since the sun was in his eyes and he fell twice and – wait THE STORY.

Angel music played as Kaneki’s apartment was in sight, getting closer and closer. Finally, Kaneki reached his front door and didn’t hesitate to push it open, slam it shut and flop on le bed.

“Ah…” he let out a sigh….. “Oh sweet Bed-kun….”

He took in a whiff of his bed before frowning.

_I smell the scent of Boner Man._

Too sleepy to really give a fuck, Kaneki drifted off to sleep.

 

_Kaneki~~_

 

_Dafuq._

 

The room was dark with Kaneki standing in the middle of it. Despite being the only one seen, it felt like he wasn’t alo-

 

_Kanekiii~~_

….. It felt like he wasn’t alone. Kaneki looked around, desperate to find any source of ligh-

 

_Kanekiiiiiiii~~~_

…..

He was desperate to find any source of ligh-

 

_Kanek-_

CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT AND LET ME FUCKING SPEAK.

 

THANK YOU.

 

“Uhm, En-sempai?” Kaneki called me.

Yeah?

“You can continue the story now. I’m getting freaked out by this atmosphere.”

Oh sorry. Anyway, moving on.

 

Kaneki was unsuccessful in his search for light, fear enveloping him as time went by. Almost about to give up his search, he saw something reflecting in the distance. Face full of hope, Kaneki ran towards the light only to find out that it was a mirror.

“.. It’s just me…” Kaneki somehow felt both relieved and disappointed. He stared at himself longer, trying to process what to do next.

_Why won’t you notice me Kaneki?_

Kaneki froze as he heard that husky (and fucking annoying for INTERRUPTING ME ALL THE FUCKING TIM – I’m sorry) voice blow against his ear. Suddenly, he saw in his reflection an arm wrap around his waist. Soon after the arm made an appearance, a head popped up from behind him, a male who looked exactly like Kaneki except with pure white hair and a sly grin stretched across his face.

 

_Hey sexy._

“AHH!” Kaneki sat up straight, panting furiously as sweat dribbled down his chin. “Oh good…. That was just a dream.”

 

_Are you sure?_

Kaneki held his breath and turned his head slowly to the side where he heard the voice. There he saw the white haired male on the floor with his arms and head resting on the edge of his bed.

 

_Morning Kaneki._ The man’s lips smiled softly, head tilting to the side ever so slightly.

 

“FUCK.” Kaneki jumped back and fell off the side of his bed and onto the floor.

 

_Oh god Kaneki are you alright?_ The white haired male managed to crawl across the other’s bed and hung over the edge, watching Kaneki like a cat sitting on a window still, watching the birds fly by.

 

“This can’t be happening….” Kaneki tried to convince himself that the person in front of him was not real, but it failed.

 

“Please don’t tell me that you were the one in my dream…”

 

The white haired male smiled sheepishly, Kaneki groaning in defeat.

 

Hah, you're screwed Kaneki.

"Fuck you En-sempai."

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :D Wow, I'm pretty sure that it's been more than a month from when I last updated this story. I'm really sorry that I couldn't update sooner. School stuff and personal things came in my schedule. I hope you like this chapter and enjoy!
> 
> P.S: Wish me luck. Tomorrow I have a Chinese Mastery Test (I struggle to learn Chinese even if I'm not Chinese but it's fun since I'm with my friends in Chinese class :D ) and next week I have Mastery Tests for all the subjects and I'm like homigas.

Kaneki looked at the man who hung from the edge of his bed, lightly humming to some song Kaneki swore that he’s heard before.

Kaneki looked a bit closer at the man to try and figure out something about him by his appearance.

Looks exactly like me except for the hair…. Black shirt….. white shorts that reach below the knee….  Black nail polish?

“Wha – Why – Who – Eughhh??” Kaneki whimpered out of confusion and fear, desperately blinking and rubbing his eyes aggressively to try to convince himself that it was just a dream. Well, his efforts were wasted when he realized that the white haired version of himself refused to disappear.

“Kaneki? You don’t remember me?” The man tilted his head to the side and pouted. “How could you forget me? :(“

“Bro wtf I literally just met you.” Kaneki frowned, making this face (I will present it in emoji form).

(；￣ー￣）

The white haired man’s lower lip quivered as tears formed along the lower lid of his eyes.

“I … *sniff* I was your friend since you were young….. you ….. you used to call me ‘Shiro’…”

….

Wait a minute.

I’ve heard that name before.

 

_Cue le flashback of Kaneki’s childhood_

 

Kaneki was like every six year old kid, playing around and not giving a shit about rules and being the cute little shit he is.

“Shiro!” small Kaneki shouted, looking inside those enclosed slides and inside treehouses. One particular treehouse seemed to catch Kaneki’s attention and he went for it. His suspicions were right when he took a peek and fell of the ladder when a certain white headed boy jumped and scared the crap out of him.

“Ow!” Kaneki landed on his butt, face cringing as the pain spread all over the said area with Shiro jumping down from the treehouse and bursting into a wild laugh. Shiro seemed to be around the same age as Kaneki when he stood up straight and showed his true length.

Length in height, not his shinding. (I know what you’re thinking ;) )

“Shiro don’t scare me like that!” Kaneki frowned, holding back some tears as he struggled to stand up.

“Aww, sorry Kaneki. You’re just so tempting to mess around with.” Shiro smirked.

And shit it was the smirk that a six year old shouldn’t do.

…

Now that I’m thinking about it, that line plus a smirk seems completely wrong, especially if a freaking six year old does it O_O

_Flashback changes_

Kaneki sat in the middle of a tub, pushing around a small rubber ducky that floated gently on the surface of the water. In the middle of all the peace, Shiro decided to be a ghost from a horror movie and jumped out from behind the curtain, Kaneki letting out a scream which resembled more of a squeak than a scream.

“Shiro!” Kaneki said, crossing his arms and eyebrows showing a mix of anger and sadness.

Shiro looked at the other, face falling when he saw that Kaneki wasn’t too happy about what had just happened. Shiro stepped behind the curtain, shuffling noises which seemed to come from clothes could be heard. Kaneki raised his eyebrow.

“Shiro what are you-“ Shiro steps out from behind the curtain and Kaneki’s face feels warmer.

Shiro was naked and stepping into the tub with Kaneki.

“WAIT SHIRO-“ Kaneki freaks out but then Shiro quickly grabs the other by the shoulder and brings his face closer than ever. “Sh-Shiro..?”

“Kaneki.” Shiro said, eyes glimmering with guilt. An expression that Kaneki has never seen from Shiro. “I’m sorry.”

Before Kaneki could react, Shiro leaned forward and quickly caught Kaneki’s lips into his ow-

 

 

“STAHP.” Kaneki shouts and breaks the flashback from progressing any further. He shudders when his gaze meets the other man’s.

“…. You know I saw what you were just thinking about. I’m literally part of your mind.” Shiro said in an oddly monotone voice. Kaneki couldn’t tell if Shiro was weirded out or turned on.

“Oh… Sorry.” Kaneki stood up and quickly thought of what to do next. To walk towards Shiro or to just go “Fuck this shit I’m out” mode? Well, Kaneki decided to just stand there as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “Hold on, why are you appearing at this time of my life all of a sudden?”

“Ah…” Shiro adjusted himself to sit on the bed with his legs crossed. “Let’s just say that I evolved from being just your imaginary friend into a representation of your libido levels. Up until now, you’ve barely been sexually active. But recently you have been, therefore I am here!”

Shiro winked at Kaneki.

“Let’s call it your ‘sexual awakening’ for now.”

“Wha-“ Kaneki quickly shut his mouth and realized that it’s no use trying to deny it. Then Kaneki placed one hand on his hip and the other stroking his chin. He was thinking. “Hmm….. was it because of the thing that I accidentally took with Haise-san?”

Shiro nodded.

“That ‘Haise-san’ of yours is pretty hot, not gonna lie.”

“But then, it seems like he’s already very attached with that other tall – ass guy. Was his name ‘Arima’ or something?”

“I think so. Arima seems like he has seme material build in his dong. Haise has that ‘uke trying to escape from the uke zone but fails’ vibe around him.”

“……. Hm…” Kaneki spent quite some time thinking that Shiro got bored and laid on his back, looking at his black nail polish. “How about this, I’ll get to know them better and I’ll see if I could be a good pair with either of them.”

“But we have a problem.” Shiro pointed out. “How will you be able to meet them again?”

Kaneki smirked.

“It’s called ‘Cyber Stalking, Shiro. I am an expert at this.” Kaneki walks over to his laptop, grabs it and walks to sit beside Shiro. Kaneki opens his laptop and the screen comes to life.

“Hm…” Shiro narrows his eyes as he reads what is on the screen. “Why did you search for ‘How to forget purple haired men who get boners because of you and purple haired women who get a huge period stain and smear the blood on other purple haired men’?”

Kaneki stares at his screen and pats Shiro on the back lightly.

“You will know someday child.” Kaneki says. “But just not now.”

As they proceeded to Cyber Stalk, little did they know that there were two Doves who were doing the same with the other.

 

“Arima-san why the fuck did you type ‘Eyepatch Booty’ to search for him.”

“Hush Haise.” Arima slid a hand down the front of Sasaki’s face without even looking at the other. “I know how the Internet works so fuck off. “

Sasaki looked at the computer screen then back to Arima.

 “Arima-san, you opened Microsoft Word, not a browser.”

“…..”

“….”

*presses ‘Exit’*

“…..I knew that…..”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~~ How have you all been? I'm actually super tired right now and I decided to finish this chapter tonight cuz I know that the only time I can really update is on Saturdays so.. yeah. Anyways, enjoy ;)

Six hours of ‘research’ and here’s what Kaneki has so far:

1)      Arima and Sasaki are both CCG Investigators.

2)      Based on their Facebook pictures, they’re kinda homo for each other but still maintain a professional working attitude towards the other. Kaneki is not surprised at the ‘homo for each other’ part.

In the early part of the whole six hours, Shiro was getting bored watching Kaneki type furiously on his keyboard and his lack of response when Shiro would pester him for attention. He soon gave up on trying to get the attention of Eyepatch Booty and found Kaneki’s tablet laying on the bed.

…. _I guess I could entertain myself with this._

So while Kaneki was doing his research, Shiro was doing his own as well. Correction, he discovered something _then_ researched about it. So here is what Shiro discovered within those six hours:

1)      There is a whole genre of romance which is known as ‘BL’ or ‘yaoi’. Shiro is very turned on.

2)      Fujoshi dreams are fulfilled with this thing called ‘fan art’ and ‘fanfiction’. Shiro has a nosebleed looking at the NC-17 ones ;)

3)      Shiro’s OTP = still looking for _the one._

4)      Shiro finds himself commenting on many of the yaoi fanfics that he reads. His reason: “Cannot contain the feels.”

5)      He is now inspired to write fanfiction but needs a pairing to write about. *heavy breathing*

To tell Kaneki and Shiro that both of them are little shits and need to take a break from their research, the doorbell rang which made the two look away from their screens and at the door. It takes a while for Kaneki to realize that one normally stands up to open the door when the sound of a doorbell is heard. His seat creaks when he gets up and he makes his way to the door, twisting the doorknob and opening the door expecting to see someone there.

“Hell…..o?“ Kaneki stops when he sees that there’s no one at the door but instead a letter with his name written on it. He picks it up and looks around to see if the giver was around. Seeing that no one was there, he narrows his eyes and slowly creeps back inside his apartment. As Kaneki sits down on his chair and rips open the envelope, Shiro’s head perks up from underneath the bedsheets and tilts slightly.

“What’s that, Kaneki?” Shiro asked, a smirk forming on his lips. “Is it from someone special~~~”

Kaneki felt his cheeks warm up and shook his head in denial.

“Wha- N-No… there isn’t anyone- uhm – special…” Kaneki felt his palms getting sweaty as he unfolded the letter.

 

_Greetings Kaneki. I think you and your friend are really cute together and I want to show you what I discovered. Go to this address at this time and date if you want to see what I discovered._

_Oppai Alley, 69 th street, Hentai Town at 10:00 PM._

_Trust me, you’ll like it  ;)_

_Rabbit_

“What the fuck.” Kaneki stares at the address, thinking that it was just a prank. His thoughts were soon proven wrong when Shiro waves his tablet in front of his face.

“I know what you’re thinking Kaneki but this is a real place~~” Shiro hums, showing the screen to the other.

“Shiro, this has to be a mista – oh…” Kaneki stares in disbelief. “Well what do you know… there is an Oppai Alley.”

Just in time, the doorbell rings again and Kaneki has to get up once again.

“Hell – wtf another letter.” Kaneki says as he quickly grabs the new letter and slams the door behind him. He doesn’t waste a single second to sit beside Shiro and open the letter.

 

_Wtf did you think that I was lying about the address :0 Anyway, imma give you a hint about who I am. We’ve seen each other more than once before, we just haven’t talked to each other as friends._

_P.S. That Shiro guy you’re talking to is pretty cute with his white hair not gonna lie._

_Rabbit_

Kaneki immediately looks at his window to see if he pulled back the curtains to prevent anyone from spying on him.

“….. The curtains are shut… why does this ‘Rabbit’ person know that I thought he or she was lying?” Kaneki’s head whipped (and nae nae mdknjv) around to see if there’s any possible way for a stalker to peek in. “More importantly, how can Rabbit see you? Didn’t you tell me that I’m the only one who can see you?”

Shiro shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands in defense. “Hey, I’ve been inactive for 10 years so I don’t know much about hormones being personified. All I know is that I’m part of your head and that I’m a representation of your libido levels.”

 “You know what, I’m freaked out.” Kaneki stands up and takes in a big puff of air before shouting at the top of his lungs. “SHOW YO SELF BITC-“

*ding!*

“FEK.” Kaneki immediately runs to the door and swings it open, only to see nothing but another letter with his name on it. This time, the letter had no envelope and was already opened and ready to display its contents to Kaneki.

 

  _Man you really are oblivious to shit huh? Your bathroom window’s still open and your apartment can hide you’re appearance, not your voice you dumbass._

_Another reminder, if anyone asks for the password to get in, it’s ‘cock sucker for life’._

_I know, it’s a weird password._

_Rabbit_

_And you lil piece of shit stop asking or doubting me. It’s tiring to write down all these letters really quickly >:( _

….

“Shiro I stg I don’t want to go to this place.” Kaneki shakes his head, his voice getting nervously high as he shuts the door behind him and walks over to Shiro.

“No~~~ you must go Kaneki~~~” Shiro grabbed Kaneki’s shoulders and shook him lightly. “You’ll never know what this Rabbit person wants to show us. Just like he or she said, you’ll like it.”

…

….

 

 

*le time skip to when he’s there in Hentai Town*

 

Surprisingly, Hentai Town wasn’t as bad as Kaneki expected it to be.

Kaneki found himself enjoying all the different attractions like the Penis Shrine, The Pussy Lift Rollercoaster and this one sex toy shop which name sounded awfully familiar.

Amira Uohsik’s Sex Toy Shop.

Anyway, if you think Kaneki was excited, holy shit if you look at Shiro, he was practically drooling all over the place. He also had a raging boner but no one can really see him so it doesn’t really matter.

Amidst all the excitement, Kaneki remembered why he was there in Hentai Town in the first place. He looked at his watch (it was a new watch given to him by this really cute guy in Hentai Town. The watch’s arrows were shaped like dicks and all the number ones looked like vaginas ;_; Kaneki didn’t even know why he accepted it but goddamn that guy was cute) and saw that it was 15 minutes before 10 o’clock.

“Shiro?” Kaneki called out and looked around. He frowned when he realized that the white haired male was nowhere to be found. “Shirooo. Where are you?”

“Psst. Kaneki~~ Over here~~” Kaneki heard Shiro’s voice from somewhere behind him. Looking past the penis lamps and dildo light bulbs, Kaneki could see the white head waving his hand and pointing at an alley and the street sign. Kaneki walked a bit closer to see what the sign said.

_69 th Street_

Kaneki gasped in excitement and weaved through the crowd to reach Shiro. “Kaneki, look!” Shiro pointed at the wall and soon revealed a sign that read _Oppai Alley._

“Holy shit….” Kaneki gulped then felt Shiro’s hand grab his wrist and pull him deeper into the alley. “Wa- Wait Shiro! Slow down!”

“Can’t do that Kaneki!” Shiro turned back and smiled. “I already found the place we were supposed to go to!”

“Bu-“ Before Kaneki could finish his sentence, he stopped as Shiro let go of his wrist and pointed at a wooden door. The door looked like those doors you’d find inside a house, not the ones for the outside. It seemed normal yet unusual. “… What am I supposed to do.”

“Fucking shit Kaneki. _Knock._ ” Shiro pushed Kaneki closer to the door, making the other whimper softly. Feeling the pressure of the other’s gaze on him, he swallowed the lump in his throat and raised his hand to knock.

*knock knock*

Thirty seconds past and there was no reply. Kaneki felt a bit discouraged but then Shiro urges him to knock again. Kaneki sighs but gives in to Shiro’s command. A few seconds later, the door opens slightly and reveals half a man’s face covered with sunglasses.

“Password.” The person says and shit his voice is deep.

“Uhm….” Kaneki tries to remember what the password was from that letter. “Cock sucker for life?”

The man nods then opens the door wider and steps aside so that Kaneki can step in. Everything is black and all sources of light disappear when the door shuts behind him. He can hear faint voices in the dark, like people having a small chat. The rooms smells like someone he knows too. “This way, Sir.” The man with the deep voice said, lifting Kaneki’s hand and placing it on his shoulder to lead him through the dark. Kaneki is surprised that the man was able to navigate through the darkness. Alas, they come to a halt and the man guides Kaneki down to his seat.

“Enjoy the show, Sir.” The man said before leaving Kaneki on his seat, surrounded with faint voices and darkness. Fear and nervousness start to build up inside Kaneki.

“… Shiro?” Kaneki calls out lightly and hears the other hum in response beside him. “I don’t have such a good feeling about thi-“

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” a voice which Kaneki assumed came from a speaker and almost caused him to pee himself. Suddenly, the faint voices turn into loud cheers as the voice rambled on with his introduction. “ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER _SEXY_ NIGHT HERE IN :RE?”

The crowd shouted one huge ‘yes’ and Kaneki tensed up when he realized that the announcer just said ‘sexy night’. Just when Kaneki felt like he was about to die of embarrassment, one single spotlight appeared and a man with his back facing the audience was seen beside a pole. Kaneki felt his cheeks burn when he saw that the man was dressed in a light and short maid outfit and heels. What made it worse was that the man bend forward and wiggled his hips showing off his plump ass covered by a thong. The audience seemed to enjoy it as their screams got louder. Kaneki was ready to stand up and leave the place when music boomed through the speakers and a variety of lights shined all over the room and stage, giving this kind of sexual atmosphere.

Kaneki stood up but was stopped when he felt Shiro’s grasp on the hem of his shirt.

“Shiro!” Kaneki frowned and looked at the other

“Kaneki…” Shiro kept his gaze on the stage as a huge blush spread across his face. “Look.”

Kaneki lifts his head up and turns his head to scan the room. His eyes widened when he saw what the whole room looked like.

Full of poles on stages, drinks and cocktails everywhere and an audience which looked like only a selected few were allowed in to attend. And looking at the audience, Kaneki found himself on the front most seat.

 “Oh my god…” Kaneki felt his mind go blank as he felt his legs weaken and slumped back on his seat. “This can’t get any worse….”

The gods decided to be little dicks as they made something worse happen. The male in the maid outfit turned around and revealed his face. The moment Kaneki made eye contact with the male, he couldn’t look away.

“H-Hide?” Kaneki mumbled. The blond smirked and bent down to tilt Kaneki’s chin up and brought his face close to the other’s.

“Yo, _Kaneki.”_ Hide’s voice had a purr to it as his finger trailed along his jawline and he gave a wink at the other before standing up and grinding against the pole with the music, not breaking the eye contact. Beside Kaneki, Shiro squealed wildly.

"EEEE I FOUND MY OTP." He cheered.

So this was the surprise the Rabbit was talking about.

 

Hide works at a strip club.

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! How have you been? Forgive me for the delay of the update. I was planning to post this chapter wayy sooner but then I got sick and fucking migraines man. I still had to go to school despite my condition and I went to the clinic numerous times :0  
> But tis ok, I will get better and hopefully you will like this chapter.  
> Enjoy~~

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.” Kaneki cursed under his breath as a certain male grinded against the silver pole. Kaneki felt his cheeks tingle asthe urge to look away grew stronger, but apparently the urge to not look away was dominating everything in his mind. Shiro, who was currently a squealing mess, jumped around in his seat and for some reason a notebook and pen were in his hands.

 “KANEKIIII I AM SUPER INSPIRED YOU GUYS ARE MY OTP.” Shirowas indeed super inspired as he immersed himself in his notebook-writing thing, feet propped up on the sofa with the notebook on his knees like it were a table. Usually in this situation, Kaneki would try to find out what Shiro was so busy doing, but today he didn’t feel like it. The sight he saw was mesmerizing. There were more male (and hot af) strippers that could be seen as the lights revealed them spread out on the numerous stages that branched out from the main stage aka the one where Hide was on and damn.He was just staring at Hide. Staring. *coughs possiblygettinghard*

The way Hide rolled his body against the pole, together with the beat of the musicmusic sent shivers down Kaneki’s spine. He grinded against the metalwithhalf-lidded eyes,occasionallybiting his lower lip and smirking to himself. His body rolls were not too hard, but not sloppy either. They had just the right amount of strength in them to make it look even more sexual than it already was. Just when Kaneki thought that things couldn’t get any worse (or ‘heated’ *winks*), Hide looked at Kaneki and with a mischievous glint in his eyes bit his lower lip seductively.

“Hhhhnngghhhhhh…..~” Kaneki sank in his seat, feeling his body go numb. “Sh-Shiro…”

“Mmhm~~” Shiro hummed in response happily, his body swaying to the sides lightly.

“I can’t ….. Hhhhnnggh?”

“Aww. ‘KANeki’ became ‘KENNOT-Neki’.” Shiro giggled at his own pun but then gasped as if he just realized something. “Wait. What if ‘Kennot-Neki’ was my username for my future fanfiction writing account.”

:0

“What the kcmwojmqkf what do I *wheezes* do I can’t look * wheezes* away.” Kaneki’s hand reached out sluggishly to tug on Shiro’s sleeve and felt blood rushing both north and south (you know what I mean ;)) “This is strange why I am thirsty for my best friend.”

“Dunno with you but I’m thirsty for that guy behind him.” Shiro said and only then did Kaneki notice that more male strippers and dancers were onstage doing things that made the crowd go apeshit mode. It was difficult to tell who Shiro was referring to since there was no one directly behind Hide instead spread out across the different stages snaking all around the room. “Shiro there’s no one behind Hide.”

“No, someone’s there. He has white hair, glasses, in a sexy ass police and he looks really familia- holy shit he winked at me.” Shiro inhaled a sharp breath and leaned back against the seat, hiding his face with his notebook. Kaneki could clearly see now that the notebook cover was entitled with a huge pink ‘FANFICTION’ on the black cover. Welp, it seems like Shiro has an established hobby now. Kaneki’s attention was led back to Hide as the blonde’s leg wrapped around the pole and his hands soon followed as he skillfully twirled around it, not losing the ‘sex aura’. Kaneki swore that the sentence ‘I’m hella horny and ready to fuck m8’ was written all over Hide’s face. He whimpered then subconsciously muttered to himself.

“Take me now pls.”

 As if the gods were listening to Kaneki’s mating call, Hide’s gaze automatically fixed on le Eyepatch Booty and shit Hide smirked and Kaneki felt everything become jelly except for one particular stiff and growing… member (mm yass…) Hide gracefully unmounted from the pole and sexily strutted towards Kaneki, making the other wheeze like shit.Before he realized it, the blonde was off the stage and in front of him, bent over with his hand on Kaneki’s chest trapping him to his seat as it slowly trailed south. Shiro, being a fanboy just like y’all, couldn’t help but squeal as he jotted down furiously on his notebook. Kaneki swallowed as Hide let out a deep and husky chuckle.

“C’mon Kaneki. Don’t be shy.” Hide leaned forward and whispered into Kaneki’s ear. “ _Play with me.”_

Hide pulled back and grabbed Kaneki by the collar in a playful yet harsh, pulling him onstage where everyone could see them. The screams from the crowd were booming in Kaneki’s ears and soon Kaneki faced the audience, now embarrassed at the fact that he had a huge hard-on and could be noticed by them. The audience however didn’t seem to mind, instead they became even louder once Kaneki and his ‘friend’ made their appearance. Kaneki felt soft hands on his cheeks which turned his face only to meet Hide’s brown and lusty eyes.

“Kaneki.” Hide’s voice had a purr in it. He leaned in closer and placed his surprisingly moisturized lips onto Kaneki’s quivering ones. Kaneki froze, not sure what was happening at the moment but then he widened his eyes when he finally processed the situation. “Mmphh!” Kaneki tried to push the other away but Hide’s hand had found its way into Kaneki’s hair and grabbed a fistful of it before pulled his head back. Their lips parted and Hide’s other hand caressed the other’s cheek breathing heavily.

“H-Hide….” Kaneki said, not sure what to say.

“Kaneki…” Hide dove in once more and this time, he was way more wild and aggressive than before.Kaneki found himself moaning into the kiss and moving his lips together with Hide’s. His hands were also running up and down the other’s sides, gathering up bundle of the maid outfit. A few seconds into the kiss and Kaneki felt a surge of a new emotion that he was not familiar with.

_More…. More…. More…_

Looking for ways to get Hide and Kaneki alone (Eyepatch Booty felt like a seme which is very rare indeed) noticed that the male strippers had covered the two from the crowd by stepping in front of them and gently herding them away from the front. One of them actually tapped on Kaneki’s shoulder which stopped the kiss.

“We’ll cover you.” He said before joining the rest of his friends in the show. Kaneki didn’t have time to see or thank the male but he soon took advantage of the situation and grabbed the blonde’s wrist. “Let’s bring this backstage, shall we?” He didn’t know why he said that but Hide looked like he liked what the other had said.

 Kanekitugged on Hide’s wristand led the other behind the curtains.

Looking at Shiro back in the crowd, he watched the two disappear together backstage, not caring that his current nosebleed was going out of control. Inspiration bombarded him as he continued to write on his notebook, giggling and wheezing in the process. “Yes… Yess… YASSS.” Shiro said to himself the more he wrote. Here is a glimpse of what he had on his notebook:

_“Kaneki….” Hide’s trembling hand reached up to grip on the other’s shoulder. “Please….”_

_Kaneki smirked before trailing a finger down the valley of the other’s abs._

_“Beg for it.”_

_Hide felt a whimper leave his lips as Kaneki’s hand lightly brushed against the bulge on his-_

 

 

“Hey cutie.” Shiro looked up and felt more liquid trickle down his nostrils.

_Shit….. Hottie called me a cutie…..He called me…..A …. *wheezes*_

Shiro shook slightly as all he could do was just stare into the eyes of Hottie’s face was in front of his. Shiro tried his best to say something but all that came out where whimpers and high pitched noises. As a reaction, Hottie chuckled at the other’s attempts.

 

_SHIT HE SOUNDS HOT WHEN HE LAUGHS. LAUGH S’MORE PLS._

 

Hottie reached his hand out to wipe some of the other’s blood off of his face.He leaned in forward, hand grabbing his wrist and tugging ever so slightly. Shiro didn’t need anything else to tell him what the other was up to. Shiro followed his lead and stood up as Hottie led them away from the crowd.

 

Kaneki didn’t know what he was doing.Right now all he could feel was this strange kind of hunger and somehow it was leading him to a specific place. Problem is, Kaneki didn’t know what the place was and was just relying on instinct. Speaking of weird stuff, for some reason Kaneki felt like he was aware of everything happening around him. To be precise, he felt as if his senses were heightened.

“Oi Kaneki,” Hide said, voice mixed with excitement and nervousness. “Where do you plan on going?”

“There’s a strong scent…” Kaneki’s nose twitched as the distinct scent flooded in him. The scent was not bad, it was actually pleasing. You know that feeling when you’re super hungry and you can smell food cooking in the air and then you’re just like ‘HOMIGAS FOOD’ and then you rely on your smell to look for the food? Yeah, that’s pretty much what Kaneki was feeling except it wasn’t food but it felt the same as smelling something delicious. Wow that was a long description. Ahem, moving on.

 “It’s coming from here…. “

As Kaneki passed by the hallway, he noticed that there were doors which had names on them. I guess they’re the waiting rooms of the performers. The scent grew stronger the further he went down the hallway. Actually looking around, the hallway looks pretty nice and clean :0.  Finally, the scent was super strong when he passed by this certain door. He took several steps back and looked at the door which had the scent. Only then did he realize that the smell came from a door that had ‘Hideyoshi Nagachika’ on it. Not wasting any time, Kaneki pushed open the door and swiftly locked it. Despite having no lights on, Kaneki could still see clearly and pushed the blonde onto the bed at the corner of the small room. Spotting a bedside lamp, he turned it on and felt the animal instincts grow stronger when the light revealed Hide’s ‘turned-on’ face.

_More… More… More…_

His body moved on its own as his hands proceeded to rip Hide’s maid costume one piece at a time.

“K-Kaneki wait… “ Hide whimpered nervously as the other stripped him but then gasped when his chest met with the cold air. Kaneki did not pay attention to the other’s request and found himself looking at Hide with only his black thong on. Looking at his bare chest, his mouth started to drool like, _literally._ He’s never drooled so much at once in his entire life, with all the saliva strings and bubbles that are in the corners of your mou- EWW OK BACK TO THE STORY.

 Everything about the blonde was perfect. The way he was shakingwith fear mixed with a hint of excitement,his cold sweat glistening against his body and how he was breathing shakily but heavy. Kaneki’s body moved by itself as he leaned closer towards Hide’s rising and falling chest. Hide visibly tensed up the closer he got. Then Kaneki realized,

_Goddamn he has pink nipples._

“Kane- AH!” Hide jolted when Kaneki’s lips latched onto his nipple. Listening his friend’s vulnerable cries of pleasure sent shocks down his spine and amidst all the shocks, a hint of pain started to form on the lower area of his back. He quickly shook it off and continued to lap at the pink nub in his mouth, eyes closed as if to focus his senses on just his taste and shit it tasted sooo good.

“F-Fuck…” Hide cursed and ran his hands through Kaneki’s black hair, not aware that he accidentally slipped off his white eyepatch. Well he didn’t know since his eyes were also closed and his head was tilted back against the pillow.

_More… Mo- Oh shit where did my eyepatch go._

Kaneki pulled back to search for his eyepatch, opening his eyes in the process.

“Wait have you seen my eyepa- wait what’s wrong?” Kaneki raised a brow when Hide looked at him as if he had just seen something bizarre. Like wtf, he was just in the middle of the ‘do’ and it would be very (sexually) frustrating if they stopped now.

“Y-Your eye…”

“What.” Kaneki turned his head to the side in search for a mirror which was coincidentally placed very close to him to see what was wrong.

*turns head*

*pause*

“WHOA.” Kaneki jumped off Hide quickly when he saw that his left eye was black and red; a ghoul eye. “WHEN THE FUCK WAS I A HALF-GHOUL?!” freaking the fuck out, Kaneki winced when he felt a sharp pain sting his lower back.

 “Uh… what are those…” Hide pointed at something behind Kaneki. This time, Kaneki turned around completely and saw red tentacles coming… out from his…. Back?

Oh… so that’s why there was pain. It was a kagune.

“SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING??”

Kaneki felt like he was going to die of embarrassment and fear but hearing Hide laugh made him look up and saw that the blonde had licked his lips.

“No way! Why didn’t you tell me that you were a half?” Hide sat up and smiled with excitement which confused Kaneki.

“Hide… You’re not scared?”

“Of course not!” Hide leaned forward and whispered into Kaneki’s ear, Kaneki gulping when Hide’s hand began to stroke one tentacle slowly. Wait no, the more appropriate word is ‘seductively’.“I’ve always had a kink for tentacle porn anyway.”

…

….

*blinks slowly*

Just to break the silence, he heard something coming from the wall directly beside him as if it came from the room next door.

“ _Ahh! Fuck! Suck me harder!”_ Kaneki frowned. Why was that voice so familiar?A male voice?

 “ _That’s right, you like it when I suck you hard you slut~~” Wait, that’s another familiar male voice. “Cum for me, **Shiro**.”_

You have to be kidding me.

“ _C-Cuming! **Arima-san!** ”_

You have GOT to be kidding me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHH MYY GOOOD I'm so happy to be back! How have you all been?  
> Before I forget, I just want to say a few things. First, this story will no longer be on hiatus for I am officially returning from my hiatus and I will update this story regularly. I realized that I really needed to take a break because I was so busy with school work and I realized that I really didn't have time. I also overworked myself and that turned out to be such a horrible mistake and I recommend that you guys don't make the same mistake I made :0
> 
> Second, I'm going to be updating this story at my own pace instead of once a month. I realized that I felt so pressured when I gave myself a deadline and it didn't really turn out so well for me. So I will still be updating, but not following a regular schedule.
> 
> Third, I have had several appointments with my doctor and I am happy to tell you guys that I've been improving so much over the past year and I feel so motivated to continue doing so many things which I thought that I couldn't do. This may not really be news to you guys but it is a huge milestone for me in my 'healing' and recovery process.
> 
> Last but not least, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Looking back at 2015, I am really thankful for all the support that you have given me and I want to give back as a sign of my gratitude. I don't really know what exactly to give back except for these updates so yeah ;_;
> 
> Anyway, thank you all again for your support and enjoy~~  
> Also if you have any questions or concerns at all, feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. My email address can be found in my 'Profile Bio'. Don't worry, I won't get mad if you send me an email. I don't bite ;)

Things just got awkward so quickly once Kaneki’s ears were filled with moans directed to that one Dove who gave Kaneki the chills. The thought haunted him: 

Shiro and Arima were fucking. 

Kaneki whimpered as he sat, frozen on his spot of the bed. The feeling of his kagune was long gone and all he could feel now was pure embarrassment.. Hide has to be able to hear it right? I mean, it’s not like Kaneki is the only one who can hear that….. I think. 

“Hide, can you hear that?” Kaneki broke the silence between him and the blonde. Kaneki noticed a sudden change in the aura around his friend, not sure if he should be scared or not. It felt really happy. Unusually happy. 

 “Hear what, Kaneki?” The smile on Hide’s face seemed off. 

“Those, uh, _sounds_ from the other room.” Kaneki couldn’t help but feel the embarrassment of hearing those sexual victory screams. Especially from Shiro and goddamn he sounded way hotter than Kaneki thought he would.  

_*_ _Damn Shiro-kun... you’re so loud when it comes to doing these things.*_ There was a purr to the voice and it leaked with the pure essence of the sex god himself. 

_*Arima-san… don’t tease me like that…”_ Kaneki widened his eyes and felt his cheeks heat up two degrees higher. Why did Shiro sound so sexy? 

_*But I can’t help it, Shiro-kun. I like it when you scream my name….*_ The voice became softer but even more sensual to listen to. _*I like hearing your voice.*_  

Kaneki swore that he cringed. 

_*Then, fuck me ‘til I can’t even speak. Daddy~*_  

“What the fuck Shiro!” Kaneki shouted aloud as his head quickly faced where the voices were coming from and completely forgot that there was a horny ass blond in the same room. The glint in Hide’s eyes indicated that there had been a sudden change in mood to the blond. It seemed as if he wasn’t too happy about Kaneki’s sudden interest in another couple. 

“Kaneki.” Hide’s voice was a pitch lower this time. 

“Hide?” The moment Kaneki initiated eye contact, something in his gut jumped and it screamed DANGER as loud as an air horn. But Kaneki, being an oblivious little shit, didn’t mind and acted like nothing happened. 

“Who is this _Shiro_ you speak of?” Hide spat as that name slipped from his lips. Kaneki’s gut feeling was practically screaming at the top of its lungs by now. _Kaneki watch what you’re saying_ _!_ The voice screamed louder and louder but Kaneki still refused to give his anxiety attention. 

“He’s a friend of mine.” Kaneki spoke a little slower this time once he noticed Hide’s body getting tense. 

“Hmm?? How come I don’t know this _friend?_ ” Hide’s breath started taking deep dives and his clenched fists started to shake following his forearm. “Are you planning on betraying me Kaneki? Are you tired of me?” he started to push forward which slowly began to corner Kaneki within his danger zone. 

“Whoa Hide, calm down.” Kaneki felt intimidated by the other’s strong presence as he extended his hand out to try and create a border between the blonde who was steadily approaching.  The sudden change in his friend’s attitude got him a whole lot confused as to what caused him to jump to conclusions. “Who said I was tired of you? I feel the complete opposite Hide.” 

He could hear his own heart pounding in his ears together with his very uneven and shaky breathing. The pressure put on him by Hide was silent but _t_ _errifying._ The air was so thick that it felt like they were underwater. He kept his eyes on his friend, desperate to see any kind of reaction. All Kaneki could see was one muscle move an inch and then he was face down on the bed with his hands cuffed behind his back. 

“KFVQOUBN HIDE.” Kaneki thrashed around to try and escape but the other’s firm grip on him kept Kaneki from succeeding. “Hide! This isn’t _funny_!” 

A simple scoff and a cold sensation by Kaneki’s neck was enough to make him freeze. “Oh Kaneki, it doesn’t have to be funny for you.” Hide leaned forward only to bring the knife beside the other’s throat closer to its target. “But it most certainly is _hilarious_ to me, knowing that you have some.one.else.”  

Hide pressed the sharp side of the knife ever so slightly into Kaneki’s skin but not enough to draw blood.  

“HIDEEEEE!” Kaneki jolted an felt his muscles tense up. He didn’t actually think that his best friend would sink the knife in deeper, but the stimuli from Hide’s gestures sent Kaneki almost on the verge of tears. “Hide please... stop...” 

Then, there it was. The glorious sound of hope. 

“Kaneki is that you?” 

Kaneki felt his heart jump at the voice who spoke through the thin wall. 

“Shiro! Help me!” 

Scuffling and incoherent mumbling enacted from the other side before Shiro could be heard again. 

“Kaneki!” Kaneki struggled to turn his head around with a huge weight holding him down but he was still able to anyway. Shiro stood at the doorway, shirt nowhere to be seen, boxers which looked as if it was hurriedly put on and hair sticking out in all the different directions. His eyes and jaw were wide open and his chest rising up and down dramatically with every breath. 

“Kaneki!” Shiro bolted into a run to try and pull the blonde off his ‘owner’ (Because Shiro came from Kaneki). “I’ll save yooooouuuuuuu-“  

Awkward vibes were released in the atmosphere when Shiro simply passed _through_ Hide and toppled through the bed. 

 “Shit.” Shiro said as he got up. “I forgot that I’m just an illusion :0” 

*Kaneki mentally slaps himself for forgetting about that detail* 

“Oh wait. WAIT.” Shiro’s eyes lit up and with no explanation whatsoever, he ran and left Kaneki.  

“SHIRO YOU SHIT WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME.” Kaneki shouted aloud in desperation. Closing his eyes, he slowly began to accept that he can’t be saved anymore.   

“That’s right Kaneki.” Hide said as he trailed the knife down Kaneki’s back which made him shiver with fright. “No one is here for you. No one but-“ Hide chuckled lightly before raising the knife. “Me.” 

Suddenly, the door was kicked down and the two couldn’t help but jolt at the sound. With all his strength, Kaneki lifts his head to see who the intruder, _savior_ rather, was. He couldn’t help but crack a wide smile at the sight of that oh-so-familiar white jacket. 

Hope could have never looked so sexy. 

“ _You._ ” Hide sneered as his eyes narrowed at the male. “What are you doing here?” 

“Kaneki-kun run!” Arima signalled as he leaped and caught the blonde in a tight bear hug. Kaneki stalled for a moment but soon made his move once the weight on his back was lifted. Kaneki scrambled to get to his feet before he realized that his hands were still very much cuffed together.  

“Arima-san, my cuffs!” Kaneki turned around only to see the two still on the bed, Arima catching Hide in a headlock with what looks like some hardcore BDSM whip positioned on his stomach, ready to slap the skin at any moment. Arima fumbled with Hide’s hands (which were behind Hide) before he managed to grab the key and threw it at Kaneki. He quickly grabbed it as it fell to the ground and (surprisingly skillfully) uncuffed himself. He wanted to run now, but what about Arima? 

“Arima-san!” Kaneki called the Dove and waved his hands. “Let’s leave now!” 

 

“Go on Kaneki, I’ll deal with this _bad, bad boy_.” Arima literally purred as he ran the tip of the whip up and down Hide’s bare chest. Kaneki cringed for a moment but then decided to obey the Dove. He ran out as fast as he could, Shiro soon trailing behind him finally fully clothed. Back to the two left in the room, things were a bit more different  

“Well, I didn’t expect us to meet this way Kishou.” Hide smirked. “Giving me another of your ‘disciplining sessions’ just like the old days huh?” 

Arima grabbed the back of Hide’s neck and pinned him down on the bed just like how Hide just pinned down Kaneki. Arima leaned down beside the blonde’s right ear. 

“Hell yeah I am, Hide-kun.” Arima nibbled on the flesh, making Hide let out a throaty groan. “Someone’s been a very bad boy..... Bad boys need to be disciplined.” 

 

“HAH... HAH.... HAH... WTF WAS THAT??” Kaneki panted as he made it out of the club. He was confused as fuck to why Hide and Arima knee each other and how they talked... _that_ way. “Since when was Hide sadistic and masochistic?” 

Kaneki turned to face Shiro but was surprised to see that the other male was gone. 

“Shiro? MMFTFJNGJ.” Kaneki thrashed around when a white cloth was placed over his mouth and nose. The suspect had Kaneki by the neck and did not make even a single grunt. He breathed in and noticed that everything started to fade. That smell.... ah I remember now. It’s what kidnappers use to knock out their victims, right?  

Chloro.... chloroform? Chloroplasts? Chloro-FUCK I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS. 

“Oh Kaneki~” the Suspect whispered in the other’s ear. It was a woman’s voice. “Hide was _always_ like that. You just found out the hard way~” 

Kaneki struggled to turn his head around to try and catch a glimpse of the Suspect. Slowly turning his head as everything faded faster and faster, he saw it. 

White. 

A white mask with two ears. 

A White Rabbit.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I apologize for not updating in a while but I've been really busy. But I have good news: School is almost ending for me and I can dedicate more time into updating the story! :D I'm super excited and I hope you enjoy this chapter! :^)
> 
> Also, I updated this chapter through my phone and I may have fucked up the formatting. I'll fix it when my internet at home is back up ;)

*Whoa where am I? Why is everything so dark and why can’t I move?* Kaneki opened his eyes, surprised to see nothing (well no shit, you’re wearing a blindfold Kaneki -_-). He tried to move his arms but felt something bind the two together behind his back. *Fuck.* Kaneki tried his legs but once again there was something tying them down. Only then did he realize that he was sitting on a chair and was bound to it by what he guessed were ropes.

*Hmm, these ropes feel different. These don’t feel too harsh on my wrists…* Kaneki rubbed his wrists together as he tried to decipher the material of the ‘ropes’. *These are definitely not the ropes the Boy Scouts use…. Actually now that I think of it, these ropes are actually really soft…. Ah they feel nice~ (purrs)* Too distracted with the rubbing (nyehehe ‘rubbing’), he didn’t notice that he could hear two particular people talking within the same room.  
“Oh my god girlll I didn’t know that you were into fanfiction too!”  
*Wow that voice sure sounds familiar… It kinda sounds like Shiro? But he’s just part of my head. No one even knows that he exists.  
“Of course I am, Shiro! In fact, I’ve been writing for a year now!” the voice was female and it sounded somehow familiar to Kaneki. Wait a minute. She said ‘Shiro’. ?? Can she-?  
*Fucking ddcjnpuvj it is SHiro D:*  
“Who’s the pairing for your story?  
“The one and only, *dramatic pause* HideKane~”  
*vnvjne;bjn;eannn FFUUUU- ACKKAKASKK!*  
Even if he was talking inside his head, Kaneki managed to accidentally choke on his saliva from talking and started coughing like shit. “FUCK.” Kaneki cussed but it only made his cough worse because he inhaled his saliva again in the process.  
“Oh good, you’re finally awake.” The female voice said and Kaneki tried to speak desperately for help.  
“HAK! I’M-ACKKDKKC- COUGHING.” Welp, Kaneki tried but then he received one HUGE smack on his back and the spit stuck in his throat was miraculously removed. Now that the spit was gone, it was replaced with this pain that can only be described as ‘FUCKING SHIT’. Kaneki felt two hands at the back of his head and he felt the blindfold loosen up and it eventually fell off. The light burned Kaneki’s eyes at first, kinda like how when you wake up in the morning and your mom opens the curtains right away and then you shield your eyes and just scream “MYMYY EEEYEYEYEYSSSSSS!!”  
Yeah, that kind of burning.

“Ah fuck!” Kaneki squinted and tried to adjust to the current brightness. Slowly, everything started to become clearer. The room wasn’t anything special, though he had to say that the room had this ‘feminine’ touch to it but it wasn’t the dominating theme in the room. The room was lit by one strong lamp and there was no light shining through the curtains. Probably night time, Kaneki said to himself. He looked straight ahead and saw Shiro looking back at him from the bed he sat on. “Shiro?” The white-haired man waved back with a big smile. From the corner of his eye, a head of dark blue emerged and he was now face-to-face with the woman he had heard.  
“Wait a minute. I think I’ve seen you somewhere before...” Kaneki scrunched his eyebrows and tried to remember where he saw the woman before. “Dark blue hair, pale skin, a huge-ass side bang that could stab a bitch anytime-“ Then it clicked. “It’s you from Anteiku! The waitress who likes to call Tsukiyama-san ‘Shitty-Yama’!”  
Touka was just happy to hear the nickname ‘Shitty-Yama’ and smiled. “Eyyoo Kaneki.” Touka waves her hand. “Nice to finally meet outside of the café right?”  
“Uh…” Kaneki wasn’t really sure how to respond because thaT BITCH FUCKING KIDNAPPED HI- ahem, sorry about that. Speaking of kidnapping, Kaneki scrunched his eyes as if he just heard me mention the word ‘kidnapping’. “Wait a minute….”  
[The last thing I saw was a ‘white rabbit’ and the last thing I heard was a woman’s voice. Then that’s when I blacked out. Now that I’m awake there is Touka-chan who sounds… like the woman earlier… and- holy fuck is that the same rabbit mask I saw why is it hung on the wall like that. IS SHE RABBIT.]  
“YOU’RE RABBIT.” Kaneki shouted and goddamn I think he really heard me :0 I feel that the fourth wall is almost broken now.  
“Yaaaayyy you finally guessed it!” The sarcasm in the tone contradicted the serious tone in that sentence. Maybe it was the monotone-ness of her voice? Probably. “Reminder, I am the one who ‘saved’ you from your BDSM run-away thing. Shouldn’t I at least get a thank you?”  
“Saved me? You fucking kidnapped me!” Kaneki finally got his shit right and I am proud.  
“Well, ‘kidnap’ is another way to say it.” Touka spun on her heels and walked towards Shiro. “Why didn’t I see Shiro back in the café?”  
“Oh, Shiro is….” Eyepatch Booty tried to think of an explanation of who Shiro really was. “Just think of him like ‘libido as a human’.” Shiro simply looked back at Touka and flashed a shit-eating grin while swaying side to side like a child.  
“I’m pretty much an imaginary figure who can only be seen by selected people.” Shiro added. “You’re one of them, Touka-chan.”  
“Woah did you select me or some shit like that?” Touka ditched Kaneki and took the chair next to Shiro to sit on it and listen to Shiro. “Well, I actually have no control over who sees me or not.” Shiro flashed an apologetic smile and raised his shoulders. “Who else can see you, Shiro?” “Well, there’s Kaneki, you, and that guy who looks a lot like that one CCG Investigator….. I forgot his name….” Shiro stroked his chin and scrunched his eyebrows. “But he had white hair, I’m sure of that.”  
Kaneki inhaled his saliva again and hacked wildly to try and get the blob out of his windpipe. “WHAT *cough* WHITE HAIRED *le coughs* INVESTIGA- *even more coughs*-TOR?!” “He wasn’t exactly the investigator. No human can take hold of me because I am merely an illusion. This guy who could see me could also hold me. Heck, we even fucke-“  
“Hooolllddd up Shiro.” Touka placed her entire palm on Shiro’s face to shut him up. “You’re telling me that there was possibly another ‘illusion’ who exists here in Tokyo?”  
“….. Holy shit.” Shiro finally let that sink in and gently grasped Touka’s hand on his face and held it with both his hands. “Touka-chan, we need to find him again. I need the booty.”  
The conversation was getting reaaally awkward for Kaneki and he wanted to flee the room but struggled to get out of the restraints. *How does one escape these ropes? Where was that ‘kagune’ thing of mine?* Just then, Kaneki felt something tingling around his lower back and the restrains around his wrists and ankles magically loosened. *Dafuq why did the-KWVMO FUCK* Kaneki looked down and saw that his kagune was actually out and loosened the restraints for him.  
*Holy tits thank you.* Kaneki internally thanked his red tentacles (oh my god I’m so sorry but that sounds so wrong XD) as he watched them slowly retract.  
<Don’t worry bro, I got you ;)>  
Kaneki raised a brow when he heard that voice and watched as the kagune completely disappeared inside him (dkmvo sounds so wrongggg). Little did he know that kagune’s could talk. Or maybe it was just his kagune that could talk. Or is it? TUNTUTNTUN THE MYSTERY OF THE TALKING TENTACLES THICKENS BITCHES.  
Anyway, Kaneki notices that Shiro and Touka are too caught up with their plan of searching for ‘Illusion #2’ and sees this as an opportunity to escape. He managed to sneak out without getting noticed by the two which only shows how engrossed they are in their conversation that they didn’t notice Kaneki pirouette away towards the door. Once Kaneki was able to gain some distance from the apartment, which was actually really nice btw, he couldn’t help but let out a loud scream of relief.  
“Freeeeddoooommmmm!” Kaneki exclaimed as he raised his hands in the air and looked up into the sky. It was still night time and he eventually found out that it was still the night of the day he was kidnapped by Touka. He felt a rush of adrenaline hit him like a train and there he was, singing Justin Bieber songs while running wherever his feet led him to. Running around, he found his surroundings oddly familiar. He took time to stay still and look around to see where he was.  
“Hmm, this railway looks really familiar. Why do I feel like I’ve been here before?” Kaneki thought aloud and heard someone chuckling behind him. “Oh Kaneki, how we meet again. <3” he turned around and recognized the woman behind him in an instant.  
It was Period Woman.  
I mean, it was Rize.  
“Are you stalking me?” Kaneki bluntly asked and Rize looked a bit taken aback. “I was just walking by and I happened to see you. Pssh, assuming already?” Rize placed her hands on her hips and shifted her weight to one leg.  
“Excuse me but I was just taking precautions.” Kaneki subconsciously followed Rize’s posture and felt the need to retort back. “Hah, you’re the one assuming. You assumed that I was assuming that you were stalking me.” Kaneki felt like he deserved pat on the back for his statement.  
“Oh? Fighting back, eh?” Rize’s tone changed and she let her hands fall to her sides. “We’ll see if you can still fight after this. I’m unusually angsty today and I feel like raging at someone right now.” Rize’s eyes started to change. The whites of her eyes were now black and her irises were now red. She slowly approached Kaneki and was actually directly in front of him and ready to take a bite out of his shoulder but Kaneki didn’t try to run away. Instead, he remembered something.  
“Didn’t this happen in Episode One of the first season of Tokyo Ghoul?” Kaneki had an arm out to keep distance between him and Rize. “You were a ghoul and you tried to attack me and then you-“  
Suddenly, Rize lunged forward to try and attack but then Kaneki successfully dodged the attack. “Rize! I was still talking!” Kaneki frowned as he desperately continued dodging attack after attack. The sound of metal creaking filled the night air but the two failed to notice. Suddenly, steel beams came down from a construction above towards Rize and landed…… right next to her?  
“Oh my god.” Rize jolted with surprise and let out a breath of relief. “If those beams feel on me, I would’ve been de-“ A fist to the face by Kaneki interrupted her and actually knocked her out. Kaneki looked at Rize, expecting her to get up but saw that she wasn’t going to any time soon.  
“Fuck I’m so sorry! I got scared because you were attacking and I just punched you out of instinct!” he immediately felt guilt boil inside as he scurried to somehow shake Rize awake. “Rize! Rize wake up! I’m sorry I knocked you out! It was a complete accident! D:” He checks Rize’s head where he both punched her and where her head met the concrete floor. He was surprised to see that there was absolutely no blood or wounds from the impact.  
He stood up and tried to think of what to do. His good boy instincts flooded his mind as he continued thinking aloud. “I can’t just leave her here. Police would see that the beams didn’t hurt her at all. Should I bring her somewhere safer in the meantime?” Kaneki looked down at Rize and pinched his chin lightly. One thing in particular caught his eye and sparked concern in him.  
“Oh no, Rize really is bleeding.” Kaneki saw the blood but was not at all by her head. He held his breath and look a look from behind Rize. His face turned pale when he saw where the blood came from.  
“It has returned…” Kaneki muttered sullenly. “The Japanese flag has returned.”

Btw if you don’t know what I mean by ‘Japanese flag’, take a look at one of the previous chapters. You’ll know what I mean.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been a while since my last update but I just wanted to thank all of you for your support and care. It really means a lot to me and I can't thank you enough. :) So enough with the talking, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Also if you would like to send me an email or would like to ask anything in private, you can send me an email to my email address in my profile description ;)

Thank god Kaneki’s apartment was strategically placed literally a few feet away from where he was because he didn’t want to have to drag Rize a whole mile with the bloodstains streaking their path. That would be an awkward talk with the CCG. Anyway, Kaneki wrapped an old towel from his closet around Rize’s lower half to absorb the blood so that it won’t create a mess while he brought her to his apartment. He left a note (in panic) on where the bloodstain was left.

_Nothing happened here no one tried to kill me._

Kaneki hastily dragged Rize up his apartment stairs which resulted to Rize bumping her head on each of the steps. He finally got inside his apartment and he laid out plenty of old newspapers on the ground. Then he layered more old towels on the newspapers then he finally put Rize on top of them. Kaneki took a moment to acknowledge the number of old towels he owned and gave himself a high five. He just stares at Rize and the mess she’s making and then thinks, “I should probably get something to stop the blood.” Knowing that he doesn’t know shit about periods, he turns to the one who knows all.

Google.

At first he searched general things like ‘things to use during your period’ then he went specific once he knew the gist of it. “Okay so pads are like bandages that you attach on your undies… wait what the fuck? What are ‘tampons?’” The picture of the small white mechanism filled his monitor and his brain with confusion. “What? Where does it go in?”  He found himself in a period forum all about tampons and one particular question catches his attention.

_[I don’t know how to use a tampon!_

_So I just got my period today and the only thing I have with me is a tampon. Problem is, I have no idea how to use one. Can someone please tell me where exactly am I supposed to put it? Thanks!_

_Rize.Kamiss.shiro]_

Kaneki’s eyebrow raised when he saw the username of the one who asked the question. He scrolled further and saw that the question was answered.

 

_[Re: “I don’t know how to use a tampon!_

_You literally put it up your vagina. So it kinda looks like a microphone that got stretched by a black hole. (‘Black hole’ jneqncjneqb) The part that looks like the part of the microphone where you speak through is the part that goes in your bits. The part that looks like the handle of the microphone is where you push to take the tampon out. So just push it and boom you just used a tampon. Oh, and the string is normal. Just pull it out after 4 hours or so._

_Source: I have my own fair share of experiences shhhh_

_ShitheadNishiki0021]_

 

Kaneki cringed when he saw the other username. He looked back at Rize [who was currently in burrito mode with all those layers (well more like a croissant because her middle area was the one which was bulging like a croissant)] and remembered that she was bleeding a fucking waterfall. He gave up and decided to get both napkins and tampons just to be safe. Now that Kaneki knew what he was going to buy, he had to decide where he would buy them. “I don’t want Nishiki to see me buying those.” Then his mind was set: He was going to the convenience store beside the one where Kaneki knew Nisihiki worked at.

He made sure to lock the door to his apartment to keep Rize ‘safe’ and went to go to the convenience store. He saw Nishiki’s convenience store in the distance and the store he meant to go to right beside it. His ninja instincts were switched on at that moment. *cue some Mission Impossible OST shit*

Behind the lampposts, creeping up from the bushes and parkour-ing over fire hydrants and accidentally bumping into a strategically places wall (fuck you wall) he passed by Nishiki’s store and entered the store beside it. Honestly he could have just passed another way instead of going through the hard way but eh, he just wanted to look cool.

(Kaneki’s mind: “That parkour was _completely_ necessary.” *starts flexing biceps*)

Kaneki entered the store and wasn’t surprised to see that there were no customers. Well it was late at night so it explains it. The convenience store was medium sized, maybe a bit bigger than a regular 7eleven store and there were no workers in sight so he felt himself getting a bit more comfortable.

He strolled by the aisles and soon found himself beside the aisle for sanitary care. He got out his small index card from his pocket where he kept notes he got online about tampons and napkins. “Okay so I’m guessing these are… tampons? No wait, _these_ are the tampo… pads?” he picked up one box and returned it to get another box to inspect the cover. So there he was, holding a box of tampons on one hand and a pack of pads on the other. “Heavy flow, day use, medium absorption. Hah?” His eyebrows scrunched as he read the labels. “Okay the microphone is the tampon and the bandage is the napkin.” To add to the awkwardness, he heard a familiar voice and felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand.

“Oi Kanek- you have to be fucking….” Of course it was the blond shithead Nishiki and he so happened to be wearing the outfit for the employees matched with his expression that screamed ‘oh my fucking god not this shit again.’

“What the fuck why are you here?” Kaneki felt his efforts to dodge the blond earlier fail crumble and his ego falter. His parkour felt wasted. “I chose this store so that I wouldn’t be seen buying tampons and pads by you! I thought you worked at that other store though.” Nishiki raised a brow. “Kaneki I have so much free time since I’m not the main character in this fanfiction. I got bored so I applied for work in different stores which apparently syncs up with events in this story to make things more awkward.” High pitched noises emitted from Kaneki’s closed mouth, trying to make Nishiki’s words understandable in his mind. I swear the fourth wall is broken they know about us and this fanfiction. “So why are you here, Kaneki?” Nishiki pointed at the two packs in the other’s hands. “From what I can remember you have a D not a V.”

“Well,” Kaneki gave up on trying to hide his reason. “Rize-san tried to attack me and I accidentally knocked her out in the process. She’s bleeding like hell in her vajay. Aka she’s on her period and I want to solve the problem as fast as I can before my apartment will look like what would’ve happened if Rize-san actually attacked me.”

“Ah, I see.” Nishiki breathed in and smirked. “I guess we both have our damsels in distress.” *hint hint Kimi Nishino* Kaneki felt the tension fade and he exhaled in relief pretty loudly.  “Oh thank god someone understands me.” He then held up the packs in his hands. “If that’s the case, can you help me figure out which one works better for really intense flow?”

Nishiki looked at the aisle and pinched his chin lightly. “Honestly I still struggle with which one works better, Kaneki.” Then Nishiki’s face lit up and he looked at Kaneki. “But we could try it out ourselves to see which one would be more _comfortable_ to wear. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

Kaneki didn’t know how to feel but was more than willing to try out some tampons and pads with Nishiki.

 

 

 

Kaneki was surprised and disturbed at how much time they spent on their ‘period adventures’ in the bathroom of the convenience store and at how much fun they had doing so. There were two sides of preference after the meeting: there was Team Tampon with Kaneki and Team Napkin with Nishiki. Kaneki’s reason as to why he was team tampon was that he had a difficulty applying the pads on. He kept on having to adjust the pad after wearing it. Sometimes his pad would be too ‘forward’ and when he’d adjust it again it’d be too ‘far back’ on his boxers. Kaneki also said that he really couldn’t feel anything when he put in the tampon. If you’re asking ‘how the fuck did he use a tampon he has no V’ well, which hole is closest to his genital area? The hole where they ‘put it in’ during le sexy sexy time?

Yep. He put it up there.

Over on Nishiki’s side with Team Napkin, Nishiki found it difficult to put the tampon in. For a moment Nishiki thought that maybe he found it difficult because he’s never really taken anything ‘up there’ but even then, he found the tampon uncomfortable. He was also scared of leaving the tampon in for too long and forgetting about it. The thought of having something inside him gave him the shivers. He also preferred napkins because they’re a bit easier to find around plus he also liked how it just laid down on his boxers and not up his butt. There were some heated arguments and ‘moments’ between Kaneki and Nishiki but at the end, the two decided to get both the tampons and napkins because they weren’t able to convince the other to like their preference on period utensils. Since Nishiki was the worker there and was a proud member of Team Napkin, he didn’t let Kaneki pay for the napkins but let him pay for the tampons. Such a nice person.          

So Kaneki pirouetted his way to his apartment with his bag full of discounted period stuff and checked to see if Rize was still knocked out or not. “Rize-san?” Kaneki called as he entered the room. “Rize-san are you up?” He peeked through the room where Rize still laid in the pile of towels and newspapers and still looking very much like a croissant. Kaneki frowned, not sure what to do now. He didn’t want to be the one to put the tampon or pad on Rize because that would be nasty and awkward but he wanted to stop the leakage as soon as possible judging by how the towels and newspapers were almost completely soaked. He didn’t want to get a huge red mess all over the floor which he worked very hard on to wax a week ago. *does the shmoney dance*

He sat on the chair opposite of Rize and rested his elbows on his knees. He sat in silence, contemplating what he should do like the computer guy meme. Rize woke up while Kaneki was still thinking of what to do and well she went a bit crazy. She screeched and tried to attack him but then she retreated and curled back into croissant position when her uterus decided to stap her with cramps. “Rize-san, sit down. Don’t force yourself.” Kaneki motioned her to remain seated. Kaneki handed her the plastic full of period stuff. “I didn’t know which one you preferred so I got both the tampons and napkins that said ‘for heavy flow.’”

“Oh my god ‘Heavy flow.’” Rize felt her cheeks flush at Kaneki’s choice of words and got the plastic bag.  “Thank you, Kaneki-kun.” Rize smiled at Kaneki and vice versa. “Sorry for attacking you and making a mess. I’ve been on a rampage recently. I think it might be my hormones acting up.” Kaneki shook his head.  “It’s fine. Just uh don’t attack me again please.” Kaneki immediately stood up to walk out the door. “Uh, I can leave you for a moment if you want to wash up or use something in the bag.”

“Okay then.” But before Kaneki could take his first step towards the door, Rize grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a light kiss on his lips. “SHE’S KISINSG ME MCJONC.” Kaneki said in his mind. When she pulled away, Kaneki’s eyes were wide and his ears were red. Rize smirked and her eyes softened. “Thank you, Kaneki-kun.” Kaneki (being the awkward duckling) just whimpered before leaving the room. He was super embarrassed and was squealing outside his apartment and people were looking at him and whispering ‘what the fuck.’ Rize did a small fist pump. “Suck my ass, Shuu-kun.”

Then at that very moment, Tsukiyama felt like he was losing a bet.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's another chapter for you ~ 
> 
> Also, pray for me because school starts next month D:

“Kaneki-kun, I need clothes.” Rize sat up and looked at him with her arms propped up on the foot of his bed. Kaneki, who was currently on his bed with his laptop on his lap, peeked from the side of the screen and raised a brow. “Don’t you have any at home?”

“Yeah I do but then I bled through all of them and literally all my dresses are now red. Periods are different for us ghouls since we eat humans and humans have blood and shit. We have a fuckton of blood when we menstruate because of our diets.” Rize said with the straightest face she could make. “Whoa okay that was… interesting. I guess we could go shopping? You can borrow some of my clothes in the meantime.” Rize smiled. “Aww thanks Kaneki-kun!” Kaneki chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s all part of the plot after all ~”

And that was the moment when Rize caught herself checking out her own reflection because damn she looked good in that white hoodie and black pants. Credits to Kaneki’s closet for the clothes.

 

“This is actually quite nice.” Kaneki cooed as they walked along the shopping district in Tokyo since this is called ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and everything has to happen in Tokyo. They passed by a few shops and both of them were able to get quite a few things. Kaneki actually hated to go shopping but this time, it was pleasant. He found himself enjoying it more and more.

“Kaneki-kun, what do you think of this dress?” Rize called out. Kaneki turned to her direction and he felt his cheeks flush. Rize spun in a beautiful white dress that ended right above her knees. It looked really cute on her. It suited her well and Kaneki took a mental note that white dresses are Rize’s forte. “You look… amazing, Rize-san.” Kaneki couldn’t help but stare quite a bit at the woman’s figure. Rize giggled before going back to the dressing room to switch clothes while Kaneki sat on one of the chairs the store so kindly had for customers. He smiled to himself, swaying side to side slightly while mixed in his thoughts. “Rize-san is really nice. She’s cute ~~” He felt the giggles when he remembered Rize kissing him earlier and he couldn’t help but hide his face in his hands.

“Kaneki-kun?” Kaneki snapped up and met Rize’s gaze. “I’m going over to the cashier to buy this. Then we can continue looking for clothes in other stores.” Kaneki nodded and stood up to follow Rize. After paying for the white dress that Kaneki was swooning over, they proceeded to walk around in search for more shops. One particular shop caught Kaneki’s attention. Gucci. Involuntary shivers ran down his back. “I feel like I’ve seen that red suit before. Why does it look so familiar?” Rize glared at the suit and groaned in hatred. “That’s the same fucking suit that Trashy-yama wears. The same suit He’d kill a bitch for.”

And oh, the timing was perfect because at that very moment Tsukiyama emerged from the dressing room of Gucci to look at the same suit Rize and Kaneki were eyeing. Rize scoffed, her gaze trying to mentally slap Boner Man. “Fuck you.”

Tsukiyama shivers out of nowhere.

Kaneki takes ahold of Rize’s hand and whispers to her. “Maybe we should take our leave before he finds us.” Rize had no objection to that and happily held his hand and her shopping bags. Kaneki scanned his surroundings. Nice stores. Couples holding hands. Tall man in a white trench coat and a suitcase. Tall man walking towards me. Tall man who looks… like… FUCK RUN KANEKI RUN!

“Hey Kishou!” Rize releases her grip on Kaneki’s hand and waves at the approaching man. “How’s the shop doing?” Arima stands in front of the two and returns the wave with a smile. “Hello Kamishiro.” Arima looks at Kaneki, his words laced with a purr. “Oh hello Eyepatch Booty ~”  

Kaneki wants to die.

“The shop’s doing fine. I have a lot of younger customers coming in now. And well,” Arima averts his gaze for a moment and blushes. “Sasaki has been ordering from me more often. I don’t mind the fact that he’s ordering, in fact I’m quite _excited.”_

“Uhm.” Kaneki stood in place, eyebrows raised and completely confused. “How about you Eyepatch Booty?” Arima coos. “Do you want to try ordering from me?”

“Ordering? Order exactly what?” Rize hides a snicker and Arima just keeps grinning, making Kaneki even more confused. Rize nudges Kaneki’s side and leans in to whisper something to him. “He’s the owner of Amira Uohsik’s Sex Toy Shop in Hentai town. He named the place after himself. He just flipped his name over then boom, he got a name for a store.”

Kaneki blinked and felt his brain processer lag for a moment before trying to piece together his memories of Hentai Town.

Amira.

Arima.

Uohsik.

Kishou.

How the fuck did Kaneki not see that. Maybe that’s why Arima had a whip back then too. *Go back to Chapter 12 if you want to ‘revisit’ the place ;)*

Kaneki felt his cheeks heat up. “Y-You… own…er?”

“Yep. That blonde friend of yours back in the strip club, Hideyoshi, is one of my most valued customer there. He’s very… kinky.”

“… I can tell.” Kaneki shuddered at the memory of Hide in the strip club.

“Anyway, I must be on my way, sorry to leave so soon Kamishiro.” Arima bowed to Rize to signal his leave. He then stepped forward and lifted Kaneki’s chin with a single finger so that the shorter male was now looking up at him and eye to eye. “Until next time, _Ken._ ”  Arima winked then body rolled away.

Kaneki started sweating and Rize took notice. “Kaneki-kun? Are you okay?” He whimpered before taking Rize’s hand into his and squeezing gently. “I-I’m alright. Just a bit… surprised. It’s fine, let’s continue shopping.”

So the two continued shopping, both of them getting a good amount of clothing and apparel. Halfway through the journey, Kaneki gave up on solely looking for clothes and instead put all his attention on Rize. He was enjoying his time with Rize and that was all he could think about. Rize continued to shop with Kaneki in her hand but then realized that she wanted to focus on maximizing the time she had with Kaneki. As they walked, Rize inched closer to Kaneki. Soon she had her entire arm wrapped around his arm as they walked interlocked. He liked it and so did she. She leaned her head against him and hummed. “Thank you for today, Kaneki.” Kaneki’s cheeks were flushed and he felt his heart jump but then returned the thanks. “Thank you too, Rize-san.”

Then the main antagonist of the KaneRize ship appears!

“K-Kaneki-kun! What are you doing with _that woman_?!” Tsukiyama extravagantly posed with his head tipped up and right hand covering his eyes. Kaneki and Rize didn’t realize that they walked into a suit store which ‘coincidentally’ was where he was.

“Oh my fucking sHIT SHUU CAN YOU JUST LET ME BE WITH HIM.” Rize said while throwing her hands in the air. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” Then a worker at that store walked over to Tsukiyama holding a red suit in her arms. “Mr. Tsukiyama? Here is the suit you wanted in your size.”

“YOU OWN LIKE FIVE PAIRS OF THAT SUIT WHAT THE FUCK??!!” Rize raged and Kaneki started to back up towards the exit. “Uhm, I should probably leave….”

“SO WHAT KAMISHIRO. I LIKE SUITS AND I LIKE GUCCI.” Tsukiyama didn’t even take the suit that the saleslady gave him. He snapped his fingers and formed a “Z” shape in the air while doing so. “I LIKE GUCCI, YOUR PUSSY LOOSEY.”

“Oh you went there you whale fucker.” Rize’s eye twitched and Kaneki thought that it was time to try and break up the fight. “Rize-san? Tsukiyama-san? I think it’s best if you two-“

Then Kaneki’s head exploded when both of them burst into Spanish and started screaming at each other while frantically pointing at things in the store, mostly the suits and the saleslady (who was just as confused as Kaneki). He watched as the two exchanged insults (Kaneki was guessing that they were insults by the way they said it and by their expressions) and started to step backwards to the exit. He made a run for it and felt satisfaction when the sounds of Rize and Tsukiyama’s rage faded out. When he was at a good distance away from the shopping district, he let out a sigh. “Whoa that was intense.” He took one last look at the direction where he just came from before walking home.

“I miss my home.” Kaneki smiled. It was time for him to go home and rest. Finally, he could end a chapter peacefully.

But then that doesn’t mean that the story is done yet ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to Bretman Rock for the 'Gucci, Your pussy loosey' joke ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD
> 
> Heyyy guysss ;) I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. School has been really busy but hey, I was still able to write :D I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter and I'll see you in the next one! ~~

** Kaneki **

I woke up to the sound of chirping birds and sunlight through the windows. Shiro wasn’t here so I was the only one in my apartment. It was nice. It was peaceful. Unusually peaceful. I was suspicious at first but then I just embraced the moment. I rarely get any chill time here so this as peaceful as it’s going to get for me. I stretched and put on my fluffy rabbit slippers. I wanted some coffee. I walked over to my machine and made some, sweet and creamy. The feeling was satisfying as I stepped out my door and took a breath of the fresh morning air. Ah, the smell of late night make- out sessions and horrible decisions.

This is really nice.

I smiled to myself as I took a sip of my coffee. I wonder how everyone else is doing…

 

** Touka **

I had absolutely no sleep last night. I was up writing new stories with Shiro. Speaking of Shiro, I don’t know where he is right now. Eh, knowing him he’s probably out looking for that Arima guy he said that he ‘did the do’ with recently. It’s still morning, maybe I should take a walk. I need inspiration to write some yaoi porn. I took a step out of my apartment and felt relieved. It was nice to go out in the morning at times. I closed the door behind me and proceeded to shuffle around the area, not really knowing where I wanted to go. As I was walking, I saw someone very familiar. That blonde patch of hair rang some bells at the back of my head. Then it hit me: It was Hide, the boy I shipped with Kaneki. I couldn’t help but feel inspired when I saw the blonde boy. He was wearing a red flannel with some black skinny jeans and white sneakers. I squeaked and hid (not so stealthily) behind a nearby lamppost, watching his every movement. The more I watched him, the more ideas I got for potential AUs to start writing. However, my happiness was completely ruined when he suddenly turned around and made eye contact with me. His eyes narrowed before widening again and he shouted, “Wait a minute, I remember you!” I wanted to run, I didn’t know his emotions at the time but I think it would be safe to assume that he was mad at me for always stalking him.

“Fuck!” I hissed before bolting away from him. I thought that he wouldn’t follow me but I looked back and shit man, he was chasing me! He looked mad. I don’t want to know what he’d do if he were to catch up on me so I ran faster. I found some sharp corners and some small alleys. I thought that he’d slow down now but nope, he was still as fast as before, maybe even faster.

I was starting to freak the fuck out. He was fast. If he catches me, my cover as ‘Rabbit’ might be blown D: I thought that everything was going to end there and then but when I was approaching a shopping district, I saw a familiar patch of purple and red that made me instantly irritated.

“OI YOU FUCK HELP ME.” I shouted to call on Tsukiyama. He looked at me right away, his face smiling then freaking out when looking at my situation. When I passed him, he ran alongside with me.

** Tsukiyama **

Being the nice person I am *hair flips*, I saw that Touka-chan-

“Drop the ‘-chan’ you shit.” Touka-cha… _Touka_ interrupted my awesome monologue. Anyway, I saw that she was having a really shitty time so I decided to help her out. By the way her eyes were wide and her llama screams, she’s being chased. I ran alongside her (sacrificing my time that could have been for shopping D: ) and looked back to see a really cute blonde chasing us.

“I’m assuming that he’s the one you’re running away from?” I asked Touka. She didn’t even bother looking at me and just puffed out her strangled ‘yes’. Ah, fuck how do I help her? Hm… maybe I should try blocking him…

“Stop right there!” I stopped and spun around, arms open wide to block the blonde intruder. I was certain that he would stop but then he just slipped right by me. My body was shook.

I tried to run after him again, reaching out to grab the hem of his shirt but for some reason I couldn’t. Man this guy is fast for a regular human. I noticed that he was starting to drift further from me. I thought that it was me getting slower but it was him getting faster. Did that make sense?

I should probably warn Touka about this.

“Touka! He’s fast and catching up to you! Goddamn that boy has some endurance!”

“I can hear you!” the blondie spoke up, shooting a glare at me but quickly smiling. “But thanks for the compliment ~”

“Aww~~ <3” I got distracted with his gratitude that I didn’t see a garbage bag in front of me and I tripped over it. The ground didn’t taste too good  ;_;  Amidst that I still tried to stand up, even if my suit was ruined :(  “Touka!” I called out to her vanishing figure. I was supposed to juts give up on going after her but there was a voice I heard that made me start bolting into a run the moment I heard it.

“You son of a bitch!” she called out.

It was Kamishiro. Crap.

** Rize **

His face. It pisses me off.  I don’t even know why I’m chasing him. I’m just mad at him. He tripped over a garbage bag and landed face flat on the ground. His whale cry was marvelous. The moment he got up, I recognized him and just started to chase him like crazy. Maybe it was because I’m on my period, but I’m feeling really mad at everything, particularly _him._

“Shuu come back you piece of shit!” I screamed and he seemed to run even faster. “What the fuck I told you to come here not to run away!”

“I’m not listening to you, bitch!” his ‘faraway’ voice said. “Stop chasing me! You’re scaring me!”

“Then stop running away!”

“But stop chasing me!”

“UgGGHHGHH.” I ran even faster and it took me a while to notice that I was running beside a blonde guy. “Oh, hi.” He turned around and flashed a nice smile. “Hey. Chasing someone too?” Oh thank god someone understands me. “Hell ye. I’m going for the purple piece of shit. You?” He looked forward again, not even panting from all the running. “I’m going for the girl, ‘Touka’. I’ve seen her before. I just wanted to talk to her but then she started running away from me.”

Well that scenario sounds familiar. Then I had an idea.

“Do you want to team up?” I asked. At first I thought that he would reject my offer but he actually took it. It made me happy that I had a team mate now to chase Shuu with. I feel happy now and less hormonal. We passed by a donut store and that was a huge mistake because there were two Doves outside eating donuts and they happened to be the Doves I was terrified of.

Shit, they saw me.

SHiT rUN.

 

** Arima and Sasaki **

“So I didn’t know that my suitcase was filled to the brim with pink vibrato- HKVOJN FUCK MJMVKOM.” Arima choked on his donut whist talking to Sasaki. The younger Dove freaked the fuck out and stood up to whack Arima’s back in attempt to relieve his cough (only to have Arima scream in pain from the force of the slap).

“SHIT. DONUT COME OUT.” Sasaki wrapped his arms around Arima’s waist and pulled towards himself to force the donut out. Right now, let’s just say that the front of the donut store looked like there were two Doves dry humping each other, one screaming like a banshee and the other sounding like a dying whale.

“HAISE STOP.” Arima thrashed around to try and shake Sasaki off. “YoU’RE MAKING IT WORSE.”

“Oh.” Everything went silent and Sasaki detached his arms from the older Dove. “Sorry about that. But shit bro, you really choked on that donut.” Sasaki tried to suppress a laugh but failed, obviously.

“Haise,” Arima cleared his throat. “Did you see who passed by us though?” Sasaki raised a brow. Arima sighed. “They were the two ghouls we were supposed to look for earlier before we got distracted with donuts.” Sasaki’s brow raised higher and Arima rolled his eyes. “Kamishiro Rize and Tsukiyama Shuu.”

“OHHHHH.” Fuck that took him a while to get it. Sasaki grabbed his suitcase and pulled Arima up from his chair. “Let’s get them! If we succeed, we can probably get a raise from the CCG!” Arima smiled, picking up his suitcase before smiling to himself.

“The underpaid Doves shall rise.”

The two started to chase after the two purple heads, salary raises motivating them.

 

** Ghouls **

Tsukiyama was able to run alongside Touka and the two ran frantically away from Rize and Hide.

“We can get them!” Rize spoke to Hide. Then two male voices spoke from behind them.

“Stop right there! Kamishiro Rize and Tsukiyama Shuu! You are under arrest by the CCG!” Arima shouted from afar. Rize’s eyes widened and Tsukiyama looked back to meet Rize’s panicked gaze. “What the fuck? How did they find us?” Tsukiyama said. “How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Rize retorted. Hide looked at her with wide eyes. “CCG? You’re a ghoul?!”

“…. Oops.”

Hide looked back and made eye contact with Arima and felt his insides shake. “Shit.” He muttered. “What’s with you?” Rize asked. “He’s the owner of the sex toy shop I go to and we used to fuck a lot in the past.” “Whoa.”

Touka looked back and saw that the Doves were after Tsukiyama and Rize and that Arima was after Hide. She just wanted to get out of the situation, no matter if she had to sacrifice someone. Something had to be done. “Hey guys, look! Anal beads on the ground!” Touka said aloud and everyone looked down and said in unison, “Where?” They drastically slowed down and Touka cackled to herself as she escaped the scene.

“Huh? Anal beads?” Sasaki asked then looked forward. “Hey, that girl is running away!” the ghouls looked forward and felt their blood boil.

“TOUKA YOU SHIT YOU LEFT US.” Let’s just say that they got really pissed off. They looked at each other, nodding in response. The truce has been made.

Tsukiyama, Rize and Hide ran alongside each other to go after Touka, the Doves chasing after the three of them.

 

And magically, they all ran and didn’t see where they were going and found themselves in front of Kaneki’s apartment.

 

** Kaneki **

“What the fuck.” And there Kaneki was, on the balcony of his apartment looking at the horde of his other halves of the ‘Kane-‘ ship. “I fucking knew that it was too normal today.” He cussed to himself. (feels guilty as author)

All eyes were on him, the pressure of all the gazes and the silence making Kaneki break into a nervous sweat.

“… uhm.” Kaneki muttered. Arima was the first to speak up.

“Hello Eyepatch Booty ;)”

“Arima-san, stop. You’re scaring him.”

“Ohh~~ Kaneki-kun we meet again ~”

“Shuu, you weirdo.”

“’Scuse you Kamishiro but you’re quite weird yourself.”

“Fuck you guys, I’m the most normal among you.”

“Nuh-uh blonde. You’re into tentacle.”

“Well I’m sorry, am I the one writing fanfiction about Kaneki and I?”

“…”

“That’s what I thought, bitch.”

“GUYS.” Kaneki shouted to make everyone shut up. “Why are all of you here?”

“It’s a long story, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama waved his hand in dismissal. “But hey, I’m here for you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

All their eyes were on him just like animals, animals like animals-mals

BABY YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN HIDE

I CAN SMELL YOUR SCENT FROM MILES JUST LIKE ANIMALS, ANIMALS LIKE ANIM-

Sorry wait, back to the story.

 

Basically, the sexual hunger and tension was thick in the air. Kaneki wasn’t too comfortable with the current situation. He wished that someone could just shout ‘Anal beads on the ground’ to distract them so that he could just run away…

“LOOK ANAL BEADS ON THE GROUND. “A voice from an out of place bush in the far right side of the entire set of the scene. Everyone (except for Kaneki) immediately looked down and a united ‘Where?’ happened and Kaneki saw a familiar head pop up from the bush.

Nishiki.

‘ KANEKI ’ He mouthed out and gestured him to run towards him. Kaneki took this as his chance and made a run for it, successfully hiding from the rest and retreated from the scene with Nishiki. “Omg Nishiki-senpai you saved me. How did you know what I was thinking?”

“Like I said in a previous chapter, I have so much free time since I’m not a main character.” He said in a slightly sour manner. “I think it’s best if you don’t go there within the hour, they might still be in the area and you don’t want them to see you :0 “

“True, true.” Kaneki sighed and placed a hand on Nishiki’s shoulder. “Thank you though.”

“Aww, no problem.” Nishiki stood up straight and puffed his chest. “’Tis the job of a supporting character of a story. It’s literally in my name to support the other characters.”

 

And that was when Nishiki felt useful in the entire story as a supporting character.

Just like a bra, he gives support.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, Happy New Years everyone! I hope you had a good year and I wish all of you a good year to come this 2017. I apologize for not updating in a really long time but I've been really busy lately and well, I kinda fell out of the fandom. I've been meaning to say this for a long time but I keep forgetting to say it ;_; 
> 
> So right now, we're halfway or even more than halfway through the story. I'm planning on ending it soon since my original intention when I began writing this story was for it to be a short story. My intention for this story was not really to give much story but to just give a lighter feel to the Tokyo Ghoul universe since the original Tokyo Ghoul is kinda dark. I didn't really plan for the story to be this long but I guess it just happened. I hope that you'll understand and I hope that you'll take this story with a light heart. 
> 
> Once again, thank you all for your love and support and I'll see you guys in the next chapter! :)

Nishiki brings Kaneki to a donut shop to hide there. As Nishiki opened the door to the store, he sighs and talks to himself loud enough for Kaneki to hear. “Well, I have to get back to work.” Kaneki raises a brow and looks at him. “You work here too?”

“Hey, I’m not the main character of this story so I need to work a bit harder to get by.” Nishiki sits Kaneki down on the available table towards the back of the store to remain hidden. The store isn’t too big but it was the right amount of ‘small’ for it to be comfortable and relaxing. The calm Jazz music in the background feels nice and the monochromes mixed with pastels offer a more ‘home-like’ feel to the store. “You can stay here for a while until you feel like it’s the right time to go back, okay?”  Kaneki nodded and smiled to himself. Nishiki’s a caring person, Kaneki thought to himself. As Kaneki’s eyes scan the store’s interior, a familiar head of white makes his way towards him. Kaneki’s eyes light up as he realizes who the person is. “Shiro! Where have you been?” Shiro smiles and takes a seat across Kaneki.

“I was actually looking for you, Kaneki! Good thing I’m bound to you and I can sense where you are. Ohhh, I don’t know if you know this but Arima has a personified libido too.”

“Huh?” Kaneki frowned and leaned in closer. “What do you mean?”

“Well, remember that time when you were in the strip club with that blond friend of yours? Hide, I presume.” Kaneki shivered at the memory. “Remember when Arima saved you? Well, I was actually in the room next to you getting lai- I mean _spending time_ with Arima’s personified libido – let’s call him ‘Ari.’ I could hear that you were having a bad time in there so I sacrificed my potential fuck session and asked Ari to call Arima to save you. And well, he did.”

“Oh… now it makes sense as to how Arima-san just appeared out of nowhere.” Kaneki said. Shiro’s eyes lit up and a sheepish grin was spread across his face. “I forgot to mention but I actually invited Ari over here and Arima might come along.”

“What.” Kaneki ran out of time to protest his libido when the bell located at the entrance of the shop rang and through the door came both Ari and his human form. “FUck.” Kaneki hid under the table right away and felt his heart beat rapidly. If he could die right now he would take the chance in an instant. _Please don’t call them over please don’t call them over._ Kaneki hoped repeatedly.

“Over here Ari!” Shiro waved.

_Oh crusty titty breast kill me now._ Kaneki put his hands together to begin praying for his lost soul as the sounds of two footsteps grew closer. “Hello, Shiro. Ari told me about you.” Arima said. “Are you alone?”

“No, Kaneki is hiding under the table.” Shiro said. Kaneki wanted to strangle him.  Arima looked under the table and saw that Kaneki was terrified to death.Arima extended a hand out and smiled softly. “Don’t worry, I won’t chase you.”Kaneki hesitated but then took his hand. His grip tightened around the older male’s hand and he was brought to his feet. Arima pulled a chair and gestured Kaneki to sit. “I’m really sorry about earlier. I won’t chase you or do anything too weird, I promise.” Kaneki let out a sigh of relieve before replying. “Thank god.” Arima takes a seat and both of them notice that Shiro and Ari have moved to another location to give the two some privacy.

The two begin their encounter by ordering something to eat and drink. Nishiki’s eyes widened when he saw Arima call him over to take their orders. He gave Kaneki an extremely worried look but Kaneki mouthed out “It’s alright” to the blond and that seemed to get him relaxed. Arima settled with strawberry donuts and a coffee while Kaneki went for the chocolate donuts and orange juice. Nishiki put away his pad paper with the orders and bowed before leaving to fulfil the orders.

The two start their first conversation: Arima’s sex toy shop. Surprisingly, they weren’t awkward with the conversation. If anything, it was light and interesting. Kaneki was amazed at the sheer knowledge Arima had of sex toys and other drugs to enhance ‘the experience.’ Then they began their conversation about aphrodisiacs. Arima stopped midsentence with his lecture about them when he began another sentence. “Kaneki I just remembered something.”

“Hm?”

“Recently Haise and I switched briefcases and it was the day when both of you were in a café together.” Kaneki’s eyebrows furrowed but then he remembered the event and what happened afterwards. (coughs _the events of chapter 9)_ He felt his palms start to sweat. “Y-Yeah?”

“I had aphrodisiacs in them. Do you remember taking them?” Arima leaned in closer. The look on his eyes were more of an ‘I know you did but I just want to refresh your memory.’ “I… I do remember.” Kaneki shudders.

“Well, that aphrodisiac you took has a tendency to make the consumers hallucinate. Mostly they hallucinate about sexual encounters. Usually when two people take the aphrodisiac at the same time, their hallucinations sync up.” Kaneki let those words sink in and he raised a brow.

“Hallucinations syncing up? Wait what are you trying to tell me?”

“So uhm.” Arima looked a bit shy with what he was about to say and Kaneki had a bad feeling about this. “I’m pretty sure you thought that you had sex with Haise but you… you didn’t. When I saw both of you, you were pretty much just staring at each other and you looked high off your asses.”

“B-But I saw you in my hallucinations!” Kaneki then realized he never fucked and that he looked ridiculous during the duration of the aphrodisiac effects. “Yeah, I was there in real life. I saw you two in Sasaki’s apartment and I got mad at him since he took my briefcase. I didn’t realize it at first that both of you took the drug but when I did, I tried to snap him out of it and you just ran away.”

“Oh my god.” Kaneki hid his face in his hands. His ears started to heat up and Arima just laughed at him. “How did we look like?”

“You guys were staring at each other and not blinking. Sasaki had his arm outstretched and his entire palm was on your face. You two also had raging boners.” Arima answered. Kaneki whimpered in defeat and sunk lower into his seat. “Hey it’s alright, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” Arima said. “I’ve had my own fair share of embarrassing moments.” Little did Kaneki know that Arima just cringed a bit upon remembering his ‘moments.’  Kaneki soon relaxes and Nishiki comes back with their orders on a tray.

“Here ya go, you main character fucks.” Nishiki says in the most casual voice as he places their orders down in front of them. Arima seems shocked and Kaneki thinks, _‘He probably doesn’t know that we’re in a story.’_ “Enjoy your meal.” Arima smiles. “Oh no.” Kaneki says since he knows what Arima is going to do.

“Hey Kaneki. This meal isn’t the only thing I’m going to _eat_.” Arima giggles pathetically to himself as Kaneki massages his temples at the horrible joke the other made. Arima soon stops and clears his throat. “So Eyepatch Booty, I’ve been thinking,” He smirked. “Since you’re pretty cute, I want to give you a discount for my store.”

“S-Sure, that sounds good.”

“And I want you to be a model for my store too.”

“What.”

“I mean if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. But if you _do_ ,” Arima leaned forward and his eyes narrowed. “Free stuff for six months.”

“Holy shit that’s pretty good.” Kaneki actually considered it for a bit. Should he take the offer? But then again he’s not sure if he’ll need sex toys. But all those sex toys that fell out of Sasaki’s briefcase (Later on revealed as Arima’s briefcase for his sex shop) had really nice stuff. “Let me think about it but I’d like the discount very much.” Was what Kaneki was able to say.

Arima smiled and leaned back to pick up his briefcase. He set it on the table, opened it and then all his sex toys came out by accident. “Oh shit.” Arima said in the most monotone way possible as Kaneki and a lot of people in the surrounding area watched in horror as a pink dildo rolled towards him and fell on his lap. He froze as he felt the object land on his lap. He picked it up and gave it to Arima with shaky hands.

“Just keep it, it’s new.” Arima winked and handed him a handful of discount cards. Arima picked up the rest of his sex toys calmly, completely ignoring the attention he’s gathered from everyone in the area. “Would you like to start eating?” Arima asked. Kaneki looked at him and hid a smile as he remembered the horrible joke Arima made earlier.  Arima seemed to notice and laughed while waving his hand in dismissal. “No, not _that_ eat. I mean any food here in the café.” Kaneki giggled then smiled.

“Yeah, I’m actually really hungry.”

“Good. I feel the same.” Arima wasted no time in devouring his donut and Kaneki did the same. As the two were eating, they engaged in a light talk. Kaneki found out that Arima was a techie dinosaur and he found that adorable. _‘There are so many symbols and icons to memorize!’_ Arima had said as his defense. He also watched the other eat the donut (not creepy at all) and the sight reminded him of a child eating his favorite food.

“You really like donuts, huh.” Kaneki asked as Arima looked up, food still in his mouth and powdered sugar in the corners of his mouth. Arima’s lips curled into a smile. “Very much. Haise and I always come to this shop whenever we are free.” Kaneki took a mental note of Arima’s love for donuts. After a few more conversations about personal life and some other concerns, Arima looked at his watch and frowned.

“I’m really sorry, Kaneki but I have to go back to working. I was actually supposed to leave half an hour ago but then I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of spending time with you.” The older man winked and Kaneki stifled a whimper. “O-Oh, alright. I’ll pay for us.” Kaneki reached for his wallet but felt Arima’s hand on his to stop him from doing so. Kaneki looked up at the other with confusion. The other smiled. “My treat.” Arima’s hand that was on Kaneki’s grabbed it and pulled it up to his lips to place a light kiss on the back of his hand. Kaneki felt his ears get hot and looked at the blond waiter who was looking at them with a huge grin. Nishiki gave him a thumbs up and mouthed the words _‘Already paid.’_

 “It was a pleasure to spend time with you, Kaneki.” Today has to be one of the rare times when Arima called Kaneki by his actual name instead of ‘Eyepatch Booty’ and Kaneki liked that a lot.

Kaneki smiled and watched Arima as he left the café. He didn’t realize that he had a wide grin of pure happiness until Shiro came back and pointed it out. “You seem awfully happy.” Shiro teased. He reached out a hand to the other. “C’mon Kaneki, let’s go.” Kaneki looked up and took the other’s hand then stood up. As they left the café hand in hand, Kaneki looked at the back of his right hand, remembering the tingling sensation of Arima’s soft lips on it.

He left happy.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! First of all, I'm so sorry for the late update. I was so busy at school but it's almost summer now so fuck yes ;)  
> I thank all of you for this amazing journey I had with this story. Sadly, everything has to come to an end. But don't worry, it's not the end of me :) Once again, I thank you for all your support that you've given me throughout this story. You've all been so nice to me and have given me the motivation to do things I never thought that I could do. I can never thank you all enough.

Kaneki, Shiro and Nishiki thought that the chaos in front of Kaneki’s apartment would have already dispersed by the time Kaneki went back. Turns out that they didn’t leave their spot at all. In fact, they were assembled in a neat circle and squatted down on the ground. Kaneki was still on his way and his pursuers were talking to each other.

“So I guess we all want Kaneki-kun, huh?” Rize spoke up, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked around. “You guys are hopeless. He’s never going to fall for either of you.”

“Oh I _beg_ to differ.” Tsukiyama straightened out and snapped his fingers. “You lost your chance when you dyed your dress red with your own blood. Let me emphasize that you did this _in front_ of him.”

“Yeah. Plus you didn’t even clean after yourself when he brought you to his apartment.” Arima pointed out. “You seem more like a burden to him than someone who can satisfy him. I believe that I can do that perfectly.” Arima smirked. “I have an entire store for that.”

“’Scuse you.” Hide said. “You scarred him with that briefcase full of your toys!”

“W-Well it wasn’t my fault I switched it out my briefcases!” Arima pointed at Sasaki defensively.

“Hey don’t look at me! I wasn’t as bad as you!” Sasaki pouted and pointed at Hide.

“What did I do?!” Hide pointed at himself.

“ _You,_ ” Arima poked him quite hard on the shoulder to emphasize his statement. “Tried to fuck with him and he wasn’t into it! I was the one who saved him!”

“But you still fucked me after that!” Hide blurted out and everyone went silent. All eyes were on them.

“… Is there something we’re missing with the two of you?” Tsukiyama raised a brow.

“Uhm.” Hide smiled nervously. “You don’t need to know about that.”

“Still doesn’t hide the fact that you were getting kinky with him and it was one-sided.” Sasaki shook his head.

“Oh so the one who drugged him with the aphrodisiac isn’t as bad as someone who owns bright pink dildos?” Touka raised a brow. “I think you might have to rethink some things. You clearly don’t understand his feelings.”

“Hah. You’re the one writing fanfiction about him!” Tsukiyama crossed his arms. “Is he into it? Yeah. I didn’t think so too.”

“So he’s into random men jacking off in their showers?” Rize snapped and mockingly imitated Tsukiyama’s previous words. “Yeah. I didn’t think so.”

“You bitch.”

“Pervert.”

“Guys calm down.” Touka spoke up. “Let’s not try to heighten tensions right now.”

“Don’t even try stopping this. You’re not even fit for Kaneki’s attention. Go ahead and continue writing your shit fanfictions.” Rize smirked.

“Oh you went there, you fucker.” And then Touka reached to grab Rize’s collar. Arima tried to stop Touka from grabbing Rize’s collar but he was stopped by Sasaki grabbing his instead. “You have some explaining to do, Arima-san.” Sasaki pulled him in closer and the expression on his face was screaming ‘I am going to murder someone very soon’ and it was directed towards Arima. “What is your relationship with that blond stripper over there?”

“Hey I can hear you, you know.” Hide frowned.

“You have no right to speak right now you slut.” Sasaki spat out. He was obviously in a very bad mood right now. Normally he would never say something like that but right now, he was a raging time bomb. Let’s just say that Hide got aggressive too. Over on Rize’s side, Touka and Rize were still holding each other by the collar and Tsukiyama desperately tried to separate them which resulted into both of them trying to choke him so that he wouldn’t interfere.  Little did they know that Kaneki and Shiro just arrived at the scene and Kaneki wasn’t loving what was happening. That’s it, Kaneki thought. He took in a large puff of air before shouting in the loudest voice he could muster up.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNN??!!!” Kaneki shouted, super angry, and everyone looks at him then freezes. All their death grips on each other loosened and they eventually straightened out. Kaneki looked closely at their expressions and tried to analyze the situation. Either way, he was done with all of their antics. “Guys, I don’t know if I’m right but are you all fighting because of me?”

They all began to look nervously at each other, some breaking out a nervous whimper or smile. That was enough to indicate that the answer was a clear ‘yes.’ Kaneki sighed and massaged his temples.  “Guys, I don’t want you fighting over me. I love you all but I just don’t think I can date with of you.”

Oh how their faces fell.

“You’re all special to me and I don’t feel good picking who I’ll go out with. I see you all as friends and I’d like to remain as that.”

*cue the sounds of hearts shattering

After some silence, Tsukiyama was the first to speak up.

“Well if that makes you happy, then I don’t think it’s my place to interfere.” Tsukiyama backed down. “Same here.” Arima nodded and looked at Sasaki who returned the gesture.

“Man, this is painful.” Hide admits and shakes his head.

“At least you’re happy, Kaneki-kun.” Rize smiles at him. Touka looks at Rize then sighs. “Can’t say no to that.” One by one they started to leave peacefully. Kaneki felt something inside. The only word he could use for that feeling was ‘adventure.’  He had a feeling that they dispersed just to cool down but he knew deep inside that it wasn’t going to end. In fact, he knew that it just aroused further their motivation and determination. Aka, this shit ain’t ending any time soon. It took a while for everyone to leave before Kaneki and Shiro went back to the apartment.

Kaneki felt drained. His legs couldn’t support him any longer so he slumped onto his bed, landing with a thump and a relieved sigh. Shiro propped his elbows on the edge of the bed and looked down at Kaneki.

 “You know Shiro,” Kaneki started, Shiro’s ears perking up, “I realized that I’m not ready for love yet.” Shiro nodded, his expression relaxing a bit before Kaneki continued. “I want to give myself more time to do the things I love. I want to give more time to my hobbies like writing. I’ve neglected that for  quite some time now and I’d like to go back to it.”

 “Well, if you feel that it’s the right thing to do, then go for it.” Shiro said. “This is your life though. It’s not like someone can completely control what happens to this story or anything.” Shiro thought a bit, his eyebrows. “You know, this whole experience was quite an adventure. Why not write about this?”

“Hm…” Kaneki looked at Shiro deep in thought.

 

* * *

 

 

A few months have passed and Kaneki was deep and dedicated to work, going to different places for inspiration and even spending nights in hotels to keep himself focused and free from distractions. After some initial screening, he decided that he didn’t want a proper plot. He wanted to something that felt light and something that people could take lightly. He wanted to play around with the fact that some of the characters were aware that they were in a story. A story that was made to just have fun.

Not a single one of Kaneki’s pursuers have approached him within the timespan but it could probably be the fact that Kaneki wasn’t at his apartment most of the time. In fact, he wasn’t even at Tokyo for most of the time so a lot of his pursuers actually didn’t know where he was.

So on the balcony of his hotel room, he looked at the view of the current city he was at. Shiro approached him from behind and Kaneki took notice. “Shiro, I have the basic timeline of my story now.” Shiro stood beside him and leaned against the railings, feeling the cool night air blowing through his hair. “What did you name the story?” Kaneki looked at Shiro and smiled.

 

“Race to date Ken Kaneki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist, Kaneki was the author of this entire story. This entire story was written the way Kaneki perceived everything and this story is technically the 'timeline' and not the official thing :0 The last part with Kaneki thinking about his story, I wrote it the way I was inspired to write this story. I was standing on a balcony (but I was alone) and I was going through tough times but I was slowly getting better. I experienced a lot of happiness despite my troubles and I wanted to make others happy too because I knew that it sucked like shit to go through a lot. I wanted to be able to make people smile, even if it was for a moment or because of something really stupid. So I had inspiration to write this story as a way to make others happy. I wanted to play around with the concept of the '4th wall' and I had fun doing so.
> 
> I hope all of you enjoyed this journey and I'll see you next time! Love all of you :)


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